DEAR ABBY: My husband is 42 and I am 36. When we married five years ago, he was a widower with a young daughter. His first wife had died shortly after giving birth to their second child. The baby was premature and died a week later. We are raising his daughter, whom I love very much.
The problem is that he refuses to remove his old wedding band. He wears the ring from his first marriage on his right hand and the one I gave him on his left. I have asked him many times to please remove the ring. He says that his first wife will always be a part of his life. (They met in the eighth grade.)
Abby, I understand that, and I have always been sympathetic to his tragedy. However, I am hurt and insulted. I am his LIVING wife, and it is abnormal for a man to wear two wedding bands. We are unable to resolve this.
Please give me your opinion. -- LONGTIME READER, NEW YORK STATE
DEAR LONGTIME READER: I agree, it is unusual. But there is no timetable for grief, and your husband has made it clear that he is unwilling to give up the "connection" to his first wife that is symbolized by their wedding band.
Look at it this way: You have the WHOLE man, minus one not very important digit.