DEAR ABBY: This has been bothering me for quite a while. Either I am being too sensitive, or my relatives are totally insensitive. I'll let you decide:
My husband and I recently adopted a child, and so far none of my relatives have acknowledged the child's arrival. However, a few years ago when we had our first child, gifts were brought and cards were sent. I know that the second, third and fourth children of other family members have been acknowledged, so it's not that this is our second child and nothing should be done.
It's not that I am looking for gifts, but a card would have been nice. Do they feel that just because this child is adopted or older that it isn't necessary to do anything? Maybe someday they'll realize the hurt they caused by their failure to acknowledge this child's arrival.
Meanwhile, my mother-in-law buys gifts for all of her sister's, brother's and in-law's many grandchildren. Abby, is this what should be expected when you adopt a child? -- HEARTBROKEN
DEAR HEARTBROKEN: Did you send announcements that were ignored? When the adoption was official, did you have a small family gathering to introduce your relatives to the newest member of the family? If you did and this blessed event was ignored, then your relatives are ignorant of the social graces and do not realize that the arrival of a child -- by birth or adoption -- is an occasion to be acknowledged and celebrated, and shame on them.