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by Abigail Van Buren

Wife Lacks Ginger to Join Husband's Fred Astaire Act

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married 14 years. He is a good provider and a loving father to our two children.

We are part of a social circle that entertains frequently, and that is where the problem lies. My husband dances with every woman at the party while I sit at the table watching him make all kinds of sexy movements with them. He doesn't ignore me completely, but I am uncomfortable watching him touch all these other women.

If I say anything, my husband argues that I am the one he goes home with, buys the jewelry and gifts for, and comes home to every night. He says my disapproving looks spoil his fun, and claims he just likes to have a good time.

He shows his affection toward me when we are alone. We go on vacations together frequently. He says he loves me and the children and that our marriage is forever. But this dancing thing is bothering me.

How do I handle this? Should I just not pay attention, or try to give him a dose of his own medicine (but I am not the type to go around asking every woman's husband to dance)? -- SITTING ON THE SIDELINES IN NEW YORK

DEAR ON THE SIDELINES: Your husband is acting as though he has nothing to hide, and apparently he doesn't. He comes home to you every day and is affectionate and generous in word and deed.

Since no one else reacts negatively to his dancing, evidently he is not behaving inappropriately. Consider taking some lessons, thereby making yourself a more interesting and enjoyable dance partner. Then perhaps your husband will ask you to dance more often.