DEAR ABBY: This is in response to "Pet Peeved, Martinez, Calif.," who complained because she has five cats and two dogs destroying her home. She works full time, she's pregnant and worried about her baby's safety.
Abby, she's not the victim; she's part of the problem.
I work full time, have three cats, three dogs, four children and a husband. There's romping and chasing around, but I can thankfully say none of them are destroying the house.
I have found that people with unruly pets generally have unruly children. They didn't come that way, but their parents took the shortcut. Training both children and pets takes time, but the benefits are beyond measure.
Before I married, I took my dog to obedience class. The first thing I was told was that it takes patience to teach a new behavior, consistency in what is expected, and most important -- reward the dog with praise, praise, praise for correct behavior. Either ignore the bad behavior or do a quick correction and then stop nagging.
Dog training also taught me how to raise my children. While a child or pet is learning a new behavior or task, we repeat it many times. We never attempt to make corrections when we are stressed or short-tempered. Most children, pets, husbands and wives hear only what they are doing wrong. In our house, if someone makes a mistake, there is a quick correction followed by praise for what they are doing right. No nagging, no reliving it over and over.
It's important, Abby, to save the pets and children that are running wild, not just dispose of the pets and give up on the children. -- PATIENCE, CONSISTENCY AND PRAISE IN MINNEAPOLIS
DEAR PATIENCE: Not all of us are born with the skill to be an effective parent, any more than we are put on earth with an inborn ability to train our pets. That is why classes on these subjects, which are available in almost every community, are so important. Books and videotapes are also available. There is no excuse for not learning the fundamentals. Thank you for sharing your insight.