For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Little Bit of Compassion Goes Long Way for Accident Victim
DEAR ABBY: Eight years ago, I was a reasonably good-looking 27-year-old woman. Then I survived a very serious automobile accident. Despite numerous surgeries, my face was badly scarred.
Before the accident, I was fairly popular and had plenty of dates. But after the accident, I was not prepared for the reaction I would get from people. Although I bend over backward to be friendly, nobody (including co-workers) spends any more time with me than is necessary. I'm never asked to join them for lunch. It's as though they are embarrassed to be seen with me.
I live in Los Angeles and because of my job, I meet many celebrities. Most seem a bit shocked when they first see me, but they are at least courteous.
However, there are three people who not only never flinched when they met me; they went out of their way to be friendly and make me feel comfortable.
They are former president Jimmy Carter, and two actors, Paul Newman and John Travolta. These three men are heroes in my book, and I shall never forget their kindness. -- FOREVER GRATEFUL IN LOS ANGELES
DEAR FOREVER GRATEFUL: Thank you for sharing your poignant story with me so I could share it with my readers.
God bless Carter, Newman and Travolta. In spite of their celebrity status, they have remained sensitive and compassionate. We would all do well to follow their admirable example.
DEAR ABBY: This is in response to "Depressed in Dixie," the mother concerned about her 25-year-old son marrying a divorced woman with a 2 1/2-year-old child.
When my never-before-married husband took my 4-year-old daughter (Jessica) and me to meet his family for the first time, they accepted us with all the grace and love possible. They had gifts every time we visited. If they had reservations about our marriage, they kept it to themselves. After our own two children came along, they continued to treat Jessica as if she were their very own.
Sixteen years later, she is a bright, happy, beautiful college junior with three grandmothers (all widows), and I dare say she loves her "step" granny as much as her "real" ones. Some of Jessica's happiest memories from her childhood are summer weekends at her granny's farm, taking walks, going out to the barn, or playing waitress taking lunch orders from a grandmother with never-ending patience.
"Depressed in Dixie," you will be the loser if you allow your fears to keep you from knowing and loving a beautiful "step" grandchild. Any problems will be for your son and his wife to deal with. All you have to do is provide love. -- BLESSED IN DIXIE, A.K.A. SYDNEY FULBRIGHT, FORT SMITH, ARK.
DEAR BLESSED IN DIXIE: The mail inspired by the letter from "Depressed in Dixie" was heartwarming. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: I'm writing in response to "Depressed in Dixie," whose son decided to marry a divorced woman with a 2 1/2-year-old child.
When I was 4 1/2 years old, my father died, leaving a wife and three children. My mother eventually remarried, and I called Mom's new husband "Dad" from that day forward. He didn't have to be dragged into this role. His love for my mother and all of us kids is why he married her! The interesting thing is that Dad had been married before and had six children of his own, but he still treated us special, as though we were his flesh and blood.
I just want to tell "Depressed" that I don't know where I would be if Dad hadn't married my mom because she had been married and had children. It would have been selfish of either of them to deny their love for each other just because of a child.
Oh, and one more thing, "Depressed," I thank God every day for bringing my Dad into my life. -- HAPPY AND LOVED NINTH CHILD IN AURORA
DEAR READERS: If you would like your letter considered for publication, please include our name, area code and telephone number.
Pharmacy Directions Prove Laughter Isn't Best Medicine
DEAR ABBY: I must respond to "Angela," the disgusted young woman in Savannah who has recently started to work as an intern in a pharmacy.
I am sure some of her frustration is legitimate, but in one paragraph she stated that some people are so uneducated they don't know how to take medicine. ("Have you ever known anyone to eat a suppository?")
It could happen! This is what happened to me. I was given a prescription for rectal suppositories by my doctor. I had the prescription filled at the pharmacy and was handed a paper bag stapled shut with the sheet of directions attached to the outside of the bag.
When I arrived home I opened the bag and read the directions. It said, "Insert one suppository by mouth twice daily for seven days." The same directions were printed on the label affixed to the box.
I took the direction sheet back to the pharmacy and told the pharmacist I was having a little problem following the directions. She looked at the directions, said, "Oh, my," and went immediately to the computer. Evidently that particular medication had been entered into the computer so that every time they keyed in the name, it printed out the wrong directions. Who knows how many people had received the same directions!
One of the assistants at the pharmacy said, "The FIRST direction should have been to remove the foil." We had a good laugh, but it goes to show that even educated people can get confused. -- SHELDA MILLER, EXETER, MO.
DEAR SHELDA: Although I found it hard to believe that anyone would eat a suppository or not know how to use one, evidently misunderstandings are more common than I had imagined. While these anecdotes may appear funny, ignorance in such matters is beyond laughter. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: Please tell that young pharmacy intern that she is in the wrong profession.
I know. I have been in it for 46 years and have seen just about everything. (Have you ever heard of anyone inserting a rectal suppository without removing the foil in which it is wrapped?)
That young pharmacist should keep a journal, and maybe someday she can write a book. I wish I had. Sign me ... AN OLD PILL ROLLER, SPARTANBURG, S.C.
DEAR ABBY: "Angela in Savannah" wrote to ask if you had ever heard of anyone eating a suppository.
Well, I can top that. I work in a pharmacy and was instructed that we should emphasize the fact that the foil wrapping must be removed before inserting a suppository. -- DIANNE IN DALLAS
DEAR DIANNE: Thanks for writing. If I ever get around to writing a book titled "Now I've Heard Everything," I will include this one.
DEAR ABBY: I just read the letter from Autumn R. Vogel, and I couldn't agree with her more. Men who whistle and yell at women on the street are not only rude, but put women in an uncomfortable, if not frightening, position.
I have to relate one incident where the men probably felt as ignorant as they sounded. I was walking down a busy street on my lunch hour when a car approached from behind and the men started to whistle and shout, "Hey, Baby!" As they started to pass me, they became dead silent. You see, I was seven months pregnant at the time!
I'll never forget the looks on their faces! My daughter is 16 years old now, and loves to hear how she helped me put these jerks in their places. Sign me ... HEY BABY-BABY! SCOTTSDALE, ARIZ.
To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
ANIMAL LOVERS KILL WILDLIFE WITH KINDNESS AND SNACKS
DEAR ABBY: I can't think of a better way than by writing to you to get this all-important message out regarding people who feed wildlife. They are creating a widespread problem with serious consequences for the animals.
Out of a misguided sense of "kindness," people ignore the posted warnings and feed wild animals. I have witnessed it in every state in which I've vacationed. However, the reason I'm writing you now is the problem we're having in Arizona.
A couple of years ago, many of the deer that live in the Grand Canyon had to be humanly destroyed. Their stomachs were so messed up from eating human food that they were slowly starving to death. People should also be made aware that not only do squirrels and chipmunks bite, but they must maintain foraging and storage skills to survive the winter.
More serious still, bears are becoming a problem. Because of drought, bears are coming down from the mountains and are being fed from cabins and campgrounds. The result has been several maulings and the destruction of those bears. Two have been found shot to death by fearful humans. As a precaution, many bears are now being moved to other areas.
Abby, please implore your readers to stop feeding wild animals. They are doing wildlife no favor by giving them handouts. In fact, they are "killing them with kindness." -- GINNY POLADIAN WILLOBY, PHOENIX
DEAR GINNY: Thank you for pointing out to animal lovers everywhere the danger of putting food out for wild animals, which not only damages their survival skills, but can create serious danger to humans and domestic animals.
I called the rangers in Grand Canyon National Park to verify why the deer had been destroyed. I was informed that in addition to the crackers, potato chips and cookies visitors fed them, the deer had consumed plastic bags, food wrappers and plastic twine while foraging in trash containers for the human food to which they had become habituated. Autopsies revealed that their stomachs were clogged with ingested trash; in some cases 3 to 5 pounds of plastic obstructed the animals' digestive systems. Food could not be processed, and the animals were starving to death.
It was explained that deer expecting handouts can become aggressive and have kicked, butted, gored and bitten visitors to the Grand Canyon.
In addition to the problem with deer and bears that you mentioned, there are problems with bighorn sheep and rock squirrels, which beg. They will bite the hand that feeds them, and the squirrels carry bubonic plague.
DEAR ABBY: Thank you for your reply to "Minneapolis Reader" regarding commitment ceremony etiquette. In part, you said, "... treat their 'commitment ceremony' as though it were a wedding, because that is what it is to them and those who care about them."
Your answer was matter-of-fact, nonjudgmental and correct. -- LINDA W.
Abby shares more of her favorite, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, More Favorite Recipes, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)