DEAR ABBY: I am writing to "Oldest Sibling, Too," who was concerned about her first child's reaction to the attention his new sister was receiving.
I am the mother of two children who are 18 months apart in age. When we were expecting baby No. 2, I made a point of reminding family members and close friends that our son was too young to understand a lot of extra attention being given to a new baby. After all, "Nicole" was not used to the attention that is heaped on small children, but "Andrew" was. This helped remind them to be more considerate of his feelings while admiring the new addition.
While on shopping trips and outings, people often stopped to comment on the new baby. Many times Andrew was asked questions about his sister. However, when he was overlooked, I made the effort for him to be included by encouraging him to reply to simple questions. For instance, if they asked the name of the baby, I would in turn ask Andrew if he could tell the nice people his sister's name. I believe this helped keep him from taking a back seat to the new baby, as well as helping develop his vocabulary.
Andrew is now 5 and Nicole is 3 1/2. They are extremely close and have no problems with sibling rivalry. Andrew is very protective, and he now tries to include Nicole if someone leaves her out of a conversation. -- PROUD MOTHER, LOS ANGELES
DEAR PROUD MOTHER: You have every right to be proud. Nipping the inevitable sibling rivalry in the bud is no easy task. Other mothers should take a page out of your book. Congratulations.