DEAR ABBY: I need help with a problem I can't discuss with anyone I know. I'm a 70-year-old widow, in good health and living in my own home, which is paid for. A man about my age has asked me to marry him, and I've said yes. He lives in another state in an apartment building he owns. He's willing to move to my town and even to my home.
My problem: Shouldn't we have a financial arrangement beforehand? He has grown children and so do I. I don't want his money, but I think he should assume my financial support when I marry him. How do I bring this up?
Should we get a lawyer? I'm afraid that would look like I didn't trust him. I do, but I want my children's inheritance left intact.
Thanks for any advice you can offer. -- SECOND TIME AROUND
DEAR SECOND: You most certainly should have a lawyer draw up a prenuptial agreement beforehand stating clearly who pays for what after you marry as well as what kind of settlement there will be should the marriage end in divorce.
You should bring it up in plain English, unless you can communicate better in another language.
He's no doubt just as eager to have his financial responsibility (and yours) clearly defined before he says, "I do."