DEAR ABBY: Everybody starts out by saying they have a problem. And that's the way I am starting out, but don't throw this away yet because I get better as I go along. (Ha ha!)
I am a married man with three kids, 9, 12 and 13. I always wanted to be a writer but I can't seem to break into the field. I bet I sent 100 short stories to different magazines, but I never heard back from nobody. A person would like to be told what is wrong with their stuff, wouldn't you think?
You must know a lot of big shots in the publishing business, Abby. Can't you put in a good word for me? I don't expect you to say I am any good unless you see some of my stuff, so I am sending you 26 stories I've wrote. If you are too busy to write and tell me what you think of them, you can call me up. I'm sending you my phone number, and if the line is busy, keep calling because my kids are on the phone a lot. In the meantime, have you got any suggestions? -- LOVES TO WRITE
DEAR LOVES: Please don't send me anything, because my lawyer advises against reading unpublished material. And in the meantime, don't help your kids with their English.