DEAR READERS: Several seeks ago I printed a touching story, "The Story of Abby" (an abandoned Doberman who was rescued by a kind soul) from the book "The Kindness of Strangers." Many animal lovers wrote to ask where they could buy a copy, and on the chance that others may also wish to purchase it, here's the information: The cost is $10 a copy, and checks or money orders (no cash!) should be mailed to: The Auxiliary for DeKalb Animals, 85 Leighs Grove Way, Grayson, Ga. 30221. The stories will both break and warm your heart. They did mine.
Stand Up Reception Replaces Sit Down Dinner After Wedding
DEAR ABBY: Your recent letter about cutting costs of wedding receptions prompts me to tell you how the majority of residents in New Orleans, a city renowned for its hospitality, handle this.
Instead of sit-down dinners that cost "X" dollars per head, we have receptions similar to cocktail parties. This eliminates the headache of paying for the dinners of guests who don't show up, and also gives guests a chance to mingle without being restricted to conversation only with those seated near them at a table.
Receptions can be simple or very elaborate, depending on the wealth of the bride's parents. What the caterers charge depends on the number of guests invited. I have attended wedding receptions where champagne and exotic hors d'oeuvres were offered in great variety -- and others where hot dogs, chips and beer were served.
Caterers maintain their own reception rooms, or brides may choose a church hall, a community building -- or even their own homes. Music can range from the strains of an elegant harp and violin group to a lively combo for dancing, or even canned music piped over loudspeakers.
Why doesn't the rest of the country try this? -- M. HIGGINS, A LIFELONG NEW ORLEANS RESIDENT
DEAR M. HIGGINS: What a practical solution. My guess is that this practice is more widespread than you realize. After this appears in print, perhaps more people will give it a try.
DEAR ABBY: I am writing in hopes that others like myself will speak up when they are offended by magazines folding numerous perfume advertisements in each magazine and mailing them to subscribers.
I'm a widow with allergies and asthma, and I have heard numerous complaints from friends in church and garden clubs about the ads. Most women are busy 24 hours a day raising children and working out of their homes to help with expenses, and do not have time to write the publishers about this invasion of privacy.
I wrote several letters and was told I could get my money back from the agency from which I ordered the magazines. Some of them I have subscribed to for years, and it makes me mad that they will not acknowledge the fault as theirs. People do no want their home smelling like a house of ill repute, and it will if they have their magazines delivered to the house.
If this letter were published in your column, maybe we could get this disgusting advertising stopped. -- NO MORE NOXIOUS ADS, GRANBURY, TEXAS.
DEAR NO MORE: I doubt it. I have tried, but the magazine publishers have turned up their noses at my complaints.
DEAR READERS: If you would like your letter published, please include your name, area code and telephone number.
For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
DEAR ABBY: In a recent response to a woman who questioned her moral obligation to wear a wedding ring, you stated that the "presence of a wedding ring does not necessarily mean the wearer is married." Your readers may enjoy a love story which proves the wisdom of that remark.
During the Korean War, a girl in a small city in Maine was working her way through college as a waitress at a restaurant popular with the employees at the nearby air base. A young lieutenant who was a regular thought she was absolutely beautiful and had spoken with her many times. But he couldn't ask her out because she wore a gold wedding band.
One evening at closing, she and the lieutenant were the last to leave, and he lamented aloud about the "slim pickings" for the thousands of Air Force men stationed in the area. Then he said he wished she had a twin sister who wasn't married.
She studied him for a long moment, then confessed that she really was single. Her father had suggested she wear her late grandma's ring to work to help cool off us jet jockeys!
That admission forever changed their lives. The waitress became a pediatrician, and she and her now-retired husband have four grown children, and just celebrated 43 years of marriage. Grandma's ring is still on her finger. And we give daily thanks that it now signifies the wearer is married. -- LUCKY IN LOVE IN LIMESTONE
DEAR ABBY: For many years I was housekeeper and mistress to a wealthy individual. He has recently announced his engagement and I am no longer employed by him.
Because of our friendship, however, he has provided me with a sizable income and has put my husband and me in his will. My husband and I have decided we don't need all this money and would like to give most of it to charity.
Can you advise us where we can find information on charities, and how we can evaluate them? -- WONDERING IN FLORIDA
DEAR WONDERING: It is wise to check out any organization to which you are considering donating money. The National Charities Information Bureau has information that can be obtained by writing to Dept. 40, 19 Union Square West, New York, N.Y. 10003-3395.
Your local Better Business Bureau is also a good source of information, particularly if you are considering donating locally. The Council of Better Business Bureaus publishes an annual charity index that's available for a fee. Write to: 4200 Wilson Blvd., Suite 800, Arlington, Va. 22203.
DEAR ABBY: In light of your recent column about the origin of "It's not over until the fat lady sings," this should be brought to the attention of your readership:
According to "Annals of the Metropolitan Opera" (1989), Zinka Milanov never appeared as "Mimi" in "La Boheme" at that theater. The role itself quite simply was not congenial to her formidable voice, temperament and extraordinary ability as the reigning dramatic soprano from the late 1930s to the mid-1960s. -- RAYMOND JARVI, PROFESSOR OF SWEDISH, NORTH PARK COLLEGE, CHICAGO
DEAR PROFESSOR JARVI: Thank you for setting the record straight. Now I regret that I didn't consult my good friend Charles Nelson Reilly, who is an authority on opera.
DEAR READERS: If you would like your letter published, please include your name, area code and telephone number.
For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Rules for Elderly Parents Help Them to Live With Their Kids
DEAR ABBY: I found the enclosed clipping from your column in a collection of favorite articles compiled by my late sister. I think its message to the elderly bears repeating. -- 80 AND HOLDING IN RIVER FOREST, ILL.
DEAR 80 AND HOLDING: Thank you for sending it to me. I agree, the rules are worth repeating. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: When my husband's mother came to live with my husband and me 23 years ago, she made our lives so miserable I vowed I would never bring such misery to my children if I ever had to live with them. One day, I wrote myself a letter containing some rules. I put it in an envelope marked, "To be opened on the day I go to live with one of my children" -- then I put it away.
I've been widowed and self-sufficient for eight years, but I was recently forced to give up my job and move in with my daughter. I'm submitting that letter. Perhaps your older readers might benefit from it, as I intend to. Here are the rules:
-- Give what you can toward your keep. Any budget will stretch just so far.
-- Keep yourself clean and neat. Fresh undies and daily baths are a must.
-- Remember, it is their home. Give them privacy at every opportunity.
-- Try to make your own friends and develop interests outside the home.
-- If you suspect they would like to go away on a vacation but are hesitant because of you, offer to visit another relative or friend so they will be free to go.
-- Don't offer any advice or express any opinion on family matters unless asked.
-- Volunteer information that they might be too embarrassed to ask for, such as arrangements for your burial, hospitalization, etc.
These rules were written more than 22 years ago. I read them often and am determined to keep them. -- 76 AND HOLDING
DEAR ABBY: Three years ago, after 27 years of marriage, I went through a divorce. My husband had become involved with another woman and refused to break it off, so I really had no choice.
I have picked up the pieces of my life and put them back together little by little. I have not dated since my divorce. I needed this time to heal and to work on rebuilding my life. A shattered 27-year marriage is difficult to get over quickly.
There is a very nice man from a neighboring community who lost his wife to cancer about a year ago. We went to the same school and church. I know him and his family; however, I don't know if he is dating anyone. I'm almost sure he doesn't know that I am alone now.
Would it be OK for me to write him a note or give him a call? I know times have changed, but I don't want to appear too pushy. It's been 30 years since I have dated, but now that I'm alone, my thoughts keep drifting back to this man.
What do you think, Abby? -- YOUNG AT HEART
DEAR YOUNG: It would certainly be OK for you either to give him a call or send him a note. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I wish you well. Please keep me posted.
DEAR READERS: If you would like your letter published, please include your name, area code and telephone number.
Abby shares more of her favorite, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, More Favorite Recipes, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)