Abby shares more of her favorite, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, More Favorite Recipes, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Picture of Health Is Clouded by Cardiovascular Disease
DEAR ABBY: I am writing this in the hope of alerting others to some of the lesser-known symptoms of possible heart problems.
I was a daily runner for 23 years and never thought I would have cardiovascular disease.
For several months as I started my run, I felt a burning sensation in my throat. It kept getting worse, but always went away after about a mile of my three-mile run. I never experienced any chest pains, although toward the end, I did have occasional pain in my upper left arm.
My doctor finally gave me a stress test (treadmill), which showed heart abnormalities.
To summarize: In an 11-month period, I have had angioplasty twice and triple bypass surgery. Some of my arteries were 95 percent blocked although the heart itself was strong.
I'm writing to warn anyone who might be experiencing the burning sensation when engaging in strenuous activity such as jogging, running, mowing their lawn, etc. I had had several EKGs, which did not reveal the artery blockages. Please inform your readers that everyone should have a periodic stress test. You may use my name. -- JOHN A. HARDAWAY, LEAVENWORTH, KAN.
DEAR JOHN: I'm sure there are many people living healthy lifestyles who think they have no need to worry about cardiovascular disease, but you are evidence that a healthy lifestyle may not be enough; screening is also necessary.
According to Dr. Rodman Starke, senior vice president of the American Heart Association, coronary artery disease resulting in heart attack is the single largest killer of American men and women. He said: "Each year, as many as 1.5 million Americans experience a new or recurrent heart attack, and about 500,000 of them die. That is why early diagnosis of coronary artery disease is so important."
Dr. Starke and the American Heart Association urge everyone to learn the warning signs that signal a heart problem: uncomfortable pressure, fullness, squeezing or pain in the center of the chest that lasts more than a few minutes or goes away and comes back; pain that spreads to the shoulders, neck, arms or jaw; chest discomfort with lightheadedness, fainting, sweating, nausea or shortness of breath.
Not all the warning signs occur in every patient, but if some begin to occur, get help immediately because the delay could be fatal.
Readers, please don't let John's story be your story. Talk to your doctor as soon as possible about a cardiovascular evaluation, and if you have experienced any of the warning signs, call 911 or your local medical emergency hotline immediately.
DEAR ABBY: My 14-year-old son recently passed away and I was amazed at how rude people can be at a time like that.
Several people sent plants to the mortuary with a note for certain people to take the plants home with them. One family even sent a plant with a note on it asking that the plant be returned to their home after the funeral!
The funeral director told us that this was becoming a real problem for them as it was causing a great many hurt feelings.
Abby, please tell your readers if they want funeral flowers given to a certain person, they should have the flowers sent to that person's home, not to the funeral home. A grieving person doesn't need any more pain. -- GRIEVING IN BUFORD, GA.
Childless Woman Celebrates Chance to Help Others' Kids
DEAR ABBY: I am flabbergasted at all the letters from people who are desperate to have children.
I am a baby boomer who, like many of my friends, was delighted to discover that getting married and having children was not the only option for women. We went to college, pursued careers, traveled to exotic places and got involved in our communities. Some of us got married, and some of us even raised our husband's children from a failed first marriage. Overall, we've had a great half-century.
I know I owe much of my happy state to the adults -- aunts, uncles, cousins, friends of my parents, teachers -- who took an interest in me when I was growing up. My immediate family verged on the dysfunctional, but these other wonderful, caring people provided the shelter, laughter and inspiration that my parents couldn't give me. I've tried to return the favor to nephews and nieces, and the children of my friends and neighbors.
In this day and age, an empty womb is not a tragedy -- it just means that you have the time and good fortune to make a difference in someone else's life. It's time for childless people to toss those tear-stained pillows away, go to the nearest school, and offer to tutor or help a disadvantaged child. -- NO REGRETS
DEAR NO REGRETS: You are a prime example of two profound adages: "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be" (Abraham Lincoln), and "Life is what we make it (William James)."
God bless you for your generosity.
DEAR ABBY: I have read many letters in your column from men who aren't particularly handsome, but would love to meet a decent woman who would appreciate him for what he is on the inside. I feel sorry for those men. However, there must be something wrong when a 30-something, educated professional man can't find someone to love, and says it's because women don't think he's good-looking enough.
I'm not drop-dead gorgeous, but I got married when I was 25. I had about a dozen proposals before Mr. Right came along.
My best friend, brainy and leggy with a wonderful heart, could barely find a date. The reason? She didn't know how to communicate with the opposite sex. Finally, after much encouragement, she went down your list of places to meet decent men and (here is the clincher) she sought therapy.
The therapy taught her a lot about herself. The church and volunteer organizations gave her a place to try out what she had learned.
She met a wonderful man who appreciates her for what she is. Two years ago, I was a bridesmaid at her wedding. Two months ago, I attended the christening of their first child.
Abby, there is hope for those without partners, but blaming others for their being alone will get them nowhere. -- TRULY HAPPY IN TENNESSEE
DEAR READERS: "When a man says, 'I lie,' does he lie, or does he speak the truth?
"If he lies, he speaks the truth. If he speaks the truth, he lies." -- MARK TWAIN (1835-1910)
To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
MOTHER PLEADS FOR COURTESY TOWARD YOUNG DISABLED SON
DEAR ABBY: My son is 12 years old. He is quite small for his age, but he is very intelligent and normal in every way, except for his muscle disease -- muscular dystrophy.
Yesterday I had to take him to an oral surgeon for some minor surgery. The oral surgeon was quite friendly and competent, but his nurse kept referring to my son as "the little boy in the wheelchair." When we were in the treatment room we'd hear from down the hall, "Doctor, the little boy in the wheelchair is in Room 4!" Then, "Doctor, the little boy in the wheelchair is too low for the X-ray machine." Then, "Doctor, the little boy in the wheelchair is allergic to latex."
My son finally said to me, "Mom, why do they keep referring to me as 'the little boy in the wheelchair'? I have a name."
Being too shy to say something to the nurse, he kept silent. Not wanting to make trouble on our first visit to that office, I also remained silent. I know that it makes him easily identifiable to refer to him this way, but he is so much more than "a little boy in a wheelchair." He's a person with feelings.
How would they like it if they went into a doctor's office and instead of the nurse saying, "Doctor, Mrs. Smith is in Room 4," she said, "Doctor, the fat lady with the mole on her face is in Room 4"?
Abby, please try to enlighten your readers that those with disabilities are people too. I prefer to remain ... ANONYMOUS
DEAR ANONYMOUS: How unfortunate that your son experienced such insensitivity, particularly from someone in the medical profession who should have known better. Thank you for an important reminder.
DEAR ABBY: I am really teed off because this morning I attempted to go for my usual jog, but I was intimidated by a car of strange men passing by, honking and yelling at me. Even though they continued on their way, I was frightened and returned home because I was alone.
Do men think this kind of uninvited, crude attention is appreciated by women, or are they just getting their jollies by scaring us? I asked many female acquaintances who have experienced this kind of rude behavior. I learned it happens often enough to indicate that a large number of men think it's OK, and not a serious problem.
FYI, guys: Women find this kind of behavior frightening, degrading and low-class. People should be able to walk down a public street without being harassed, regardless of gender. Since men don't have to worry about being knocked down and raped, they have a hard time empathizing with us.
My son knows that if I ever catch him acting this way, I will punish him, no matter how old he is! Mothers, please teach your sons that sexual harassment of any kind is wrong. -- AUTUMN R. VOGEL, DALLAS
DEAR ABBY: I have come across a problem I notice almost daily in our local newspaper.
When a person dies in his 70s, 80s or 90s, why do the newspapers print a picture of an 18- to 30-year-old person?
Surely there is a more up-to-date picture than a high school picture -- or a boot camp picture.
Or why print a picture at all?
I would like your comments on this practice. -- J.E.G. IN NAZARETH, PA.
DEAR J.E.G.: In obituaries of prominent people, newspaper editors use the most current picture they have in their files. For general obituaries, the family of the deceased provides the editors with the picture of its choice.
What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)