DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are retired and live in a gated (guarded) community occupied mostly by retired persons.
Our neighbors are lovely people, very friendly and sociable. "Sue" and "Al" are especially nice, and assist us in numerous ways. However, I can't set foot outside my front door without drawing Sue's attention. The minute she sees me, she comes over and initiates a conversation, usually of great length. This happens during the day, at night, on my porch or yard -- anytime I stick my nose outside my front door.
Abby, I like her and her husband very much and try not to hurt their feelings, but the stress is becoming unbearable. I feel like a captive in my own home. I actually dread going out my front door!
How can I convey the message that I don't wish to chat with her every time I am in her sight? It seems she purposely waits for me to come out so she can engage me in conversation. -- DESPERATE IN CARLSBAD
DEAR DESPERATE: Your neighbor could be a lonely woman with few social contacts, or she may be the biggest pest in your gated community. But treat her as you would want to be treated if the situation were reversed.
Make yourself less available for long conversations. Explain gently, but firmly that you have many things to do, and have no time to chat.