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by Abigail Van Buren

Pregnant Girl Wants to Know if Adoption Is Right Choice

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 20-year-old independent young woman with problems up to my eyeballs. I am eight months pregnant with a child I do not want and cannot provide for. I have gotten absolutely no support from family or friends.

The father refuses to believe that the baby is his, and I have made arrangements for adoption. I'm not emotionally or financially able to take care of a child. I can barely make ends meet supporting myself, let alone a child. The father claims that after the baby is born he will help support it, if in fact it is his. But I would still be the caregiver on a day-to-day basis.

Abby, I have dreams, goals and a lot of ambition. I'd like to return to school and accomplish all that I can in life, but having an unwanted baby by an unwanted man would really throw a monkey wrench into my plans.

The baby's father says he does not agree with the adoption, but the only other choice is for him to take full custody, which he refuses to do. (In other words, I have the child and I struggle with it.)

Well, I'm tired of struggling and I don't need the added responsibilities, especially since I have the option of adoption. I am scared, confused, and not quite certain I am doing the right thing. What do you think? -- VERY UNHAPPY

DEAR VERY UNHAPPY: I think you have made the correct choice. You have intelligent and compelling reasons to give your child to a couple who would love it and are better able than you are to provide for its future.