For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
DEAR ABBY: I am responding to your wolf-dog article. In the response, you stated that owning a wolf hybrid is a bad idea. It's a good thing that you added "owners may argue," because I have an argument with your response.
I'm the proud owner of a black, yellow-eyed, 70 percent hybrid wolf. I got her from a breeder at 6 weeks old. I have learned a lot from her behavior. Many people fear "the big black wolf," but if they took the time to learn and understand them, they'd appreciate them.
Wolves do not attack people unless they are diseased or protecting their young, as any other animal would. Yes, I have heard terrible stories about young children who have been attacked, and I have also read about the wolf who was chained in his own back yard and attacked a child. The attack may have been provoked. Children should be taught responsibility and respect for animals.
It shocks me how many strangers (adults as well as children) will approach my hybrid, knowing she is a wolf, and start patting her and get in her face. No one should ever approach an animal without first asking the owner if it's a good idea. Some animals are nervous with strangers.
It is strongly suggested (and a good idea) to bring these animals around people as they grow. I have a 5-year-old daughter and a 3-year-old nephew. They both respect my wolf hybrid and play with her. She also shares the house with four dogs and one cat. Two of the dogs are toy poodles and one is a teacup poodle. The teacup poodle can make my hybrid drop to the ground and show her belly and her throat (her most vulnerable parts), which is what wolves do to show submission.
There are schools and classes for dogs. It's all in how they're brought up. If you abuse or neglect them, they might attack, as any other animal would. I wish I had the time to educate people, and more of these hybrids to raise. From what I have seen, these are some of the most graceful animals God has put on this Earth, and we need to respect them. I wish we wouldn't be so quick to judge what we know very little about. -- BEAUTY WITHOUT THE BEAST
DEAR BEAUTY WITHOUT THE BEAST: In fairness I'm printing your letter. However, the author of the article from which I quoted did check with experts on animal behavior. Therefore, I still caution anyone who is considering a wolf hybrid as a pet to be aware of the potential dangers when one tries to domesticate a wild animal.
DEAR ABBY: Your suggestion that "Needs Help Far From Home" find an Al-Anon meeting was right on. I have been attending Al-Anon for more than six years now and feel that everything I need to know I learned in Al-Anon.
The bottom line is that in Al-Anon we learn to love ourselves unconditionally, and that is the best calling card we can have for relationships of all kinds. -- J.Q., EUGENE, ORE.
DEAR ABBY: I am very troubled. When I married my second husband, "Fred," he told me he was a virgin, and passed himself off as caring toward women. Then, after our marriage, he mentioned that he used to frequent strip joints. I was upset about it because I'm a feminist, and I feel that visiting strip joints is disrespectful to women.
Two days before I went into labor to deliver our son, Fred told me that out of the five women he had slept with, he ranked me about third. After all, I'm 10 years older than Fred, and I'll never be as physically attractive as a prostitute. Then he said that emotionally he was more attracted to his high school sweetheart.
Abby, this is my second marriage and my third child. My chances of finding romance again are getting slimmer and slimmer.
I'm not ugly; I'm tall, slender and fairly attractive. I can't understand why someone who claims to love me would tell me that I rank lower than a prostitute. I was crushed. It made me feel very undesirable.
I told Fred if he wanted a younger woman, I'd leave and take the baby so he could start over again. He said no, he wanted me.
I find it degrading to live with a man who has been with prostitutes. He could have given me a disease. Am I the only woman who finds men who frequent prostitutes revolting? I can't see myself spending the rest of my life with a man like Fred.
However, he's going to college at my insistence. He says he has changed, and he'll volunteer some time in a women's crisis center to make amends.
Abby, should I stay with Fred or write him off as a bad mistake? -- DEVASTATED IN RENTON, WASH.
DEAR DEVASTATED: If Fred were sincere about making amends, he would offer to join you in marriage counseling instead of putting himself in a position to "help" troubled and vulnerable women in crisis.
Fear that your chances of finding another mate are slim is a poor reason for remaining in an abusive relationship. If I were you, I'd write Fred off as a bad mistake. And since he has told you that he has slept with prostitutes, I urge you to be tested for AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases.
DEAR ABBY: My given name is William. My checks and credit cards are printed "William." My business cards identify me as William, and I introduce myself as William. My problem is, everybody wants to call me Bill, Billy, Willie or Will.
Today I received approximately 20 business phone calls, and at least 18 people, most of whom I've never met, immediately called me Bill. I find this presumptuous.
Abby, why do most people assume it is OK to address everyone named William as Bill? I notice that people named James are usually called Jim or Jimmy, and people named Robert are called Bob or Bobby.
Perhaps if you print this, it will let people know that they should use a person's name as he or she uses it. -- CALL ME WILLIAM
CONFIDENTIAL TO "APPROVES OF CORPORAL PUNISHMENT" IN DETROIT: In the words of Robert Orben, "Never raise your hand to your children -- it leaves your midsection unprotected."
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
DEAR ABBY: I am a funeral director in Minneapolis and take part in many processions to cemeteries. It seems that most people are not too concerned about funeral processions. They dart in and out of cars and join the mourners in order to run through red lights.
This letter, however, is to show my appreciation to a couple of individuals who remain fixed in my mind. To the man who pulled over, stopped his car and took off his hat, placing it on his chest -- thank you! You didn't know the family or the young man who had died. You didn't know the 3-year-old daughter who didn't understand all that was going on around her, but you gave her, and other family and friends, a moment of your time.
Thank you, too, to the teen-ager who was hanging out with his friends on the corner as we passed. When you removed your cap and bowed your head, you showed respect and consideration.
Simple acts of kindness like these don't go unnoticed, and they mean so much.
Funeral processions shouldn't be regarded as nuisances that make you late. Take that moment and reflect on your own life, and give that family the same respect you would want for yours. -- DANIEL C. ANDERSON, MINNEAPOLIS
DEAR MR. ANDERSON: Thank you for a wonderful letter. But taking a moment to be considerate should not be limited to special circumstances. Simple courtesies extended to neighbors, co-workers and strangers improve the quality of life for everyone.
DEAR ABBY: I have saved this "Dear Abby" letter since 1979. Please run it one more time for people who insist that "a piece of paper" doesn't mean anything. I am a longtime reader from ... BUFFALO, N.Y.
DEAR LONGTIME READER: I agree. It's worth a second time around:
DEAR ABBY: Many couples who live together without marriage say: "We don't need a piece of paper to make our commitment to each other binding. A piece of paper doesn't mean a thing!"
Wrong! May I point out that when a person buys an automobile, he had better have that "piece of paper" or he could be in a lot of trouble.
Also, a driver's license may be "just a piece of paper," but you'd better not be caught driving without it.
When a person buys a home or any other piece of property, he makes sure he has that "piece of paper."
And when a person graduates from high school, college or trade school, that "piece of paper" can make the difference between getting a job or not getting one.
We live our lives with pieces of paper, beginning with a birth certificate and ending with a death certificate. And let's not forget the will -- another very important piece of paper.
So when I hear people say, "A piece of paper doesn't mean a thing," I'm reminded of the classic adage, "Ignorance is bliss." -- PAPER IS PROOF
CONFIDENTIAL TO NOTHING TO LIVE FOR IN ATLANTA: Live one day at a time. No one ever collapsed under the burdens of a single day; it's when the burdens of tomorrow are added to it that it becomes unbearable.
For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)