Abby shares more of her favorite, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, More Favorite Recipes, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
WOLF IN DOG'S CLOTHING IS DANGEROUS MIX FOR A PET
DEAR ABBY: This is regarding the letter from "Worried in Visalia, Calif." I have had my own experience with a part wolf-dog that I would like to share.
A couple of years ago, we were in the process of buying a house and had to live temporarily in an apartment where animals were not allowed. My parents agreed to keep our dog until our house was finished. Their next-door neighbors owned three large dogs, one being part wolf.
Our dog is a mini Doberman pinscher and quite small compared to the other dogs. One day when no one was at home at my parents' house, the three dogs came over their fence and attacked our little dog. The neighbor heard unusual yelping and went to check out what was happening. He jumped the fence to see the part wolf-dog tearing our little dog apart. The neighbor pulled the wolf-dog off and had to literally push our dog's intestines back inside before he could pick her up and take her to the vet. She had been torn open from her back down one side to the bottom of her stomach.
The neighbor, whose son owned the dog, was very apologetic and visibly upset about it and agreed to pay for the vet bill. Our dog was in the hospital for a week and we very nearly lost her, but she made it through the ordeal.
This is not the first time this dog has attacked. It has bitten another neighbor and chased my mother; it tried to attack them when they were walking next to the fence. The son of the neighbor refused to get rid of this dog, and they still have it.
A wolf-dog is a very dangerous breed, and anyone who plans to own one should reconsider because their behavior is very unpredictable.
I know this letter is long, but I hope you will print it so people will know how dangerous it is to own such a "pet." -- G.K.T.
DEAR G.K.T.: Thank you for a valuable piece of advice. Dog lovers -- are you listening?
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I were recently invited to a neighbor's surprise 30th birthday party. It was held at an expensive restaurant and nothing was said about who was paying for the dinner.
At the restaurant, the waiter explained the limited menu options to the 20 guests. No prices were mentioned, nor were we given the opportunity to make a selection from the menu. (I just assumed that our host had selected the food, so who was to argue?)
Imagine my surprise when, at the end of the evening, we were each handed a bill. Only one person paid in cash.
Question: Who was responsible for paying for the dinner? The host or the guests? -- ONE EXPENSIVE EVENING
P.S. We all brought gifts, and most paid for a baby sitter for the evening.
DEAR EXPENSIVE EVENING: When people are invited to a birthday party, they naturally assume they are guests.
It was a surprise party in every sense of the word. The hosts were surprisingly ignorant of the social graces.
DEAR ABBY: You had a letter in your column recently about people not being happy about their old age. There are two ways to look at it.
First, without birthdays we would be dead, so be thankful instead for all the lessons of life you have learned and the love you have both given and received.
Second, look at age the way my granddaughter does. When Jessica was 3 years old, I misplaced something and was muttering to myself about being forgetful in my old age. She told me I wasn't in my old age. I asked her, "What do you mean?" She replied, "Your old age is what you were before your birthday. After that, you're in your NEW age."
She was right. -- MARY KALLINEN, COON RAPIDS, MINN.
DEAR MARY KALLINEN: What a bright granddaughter you have. Thanks for a dandy day-brightener.
Lying in the Name of Love Has Hateful Consequences
DEAR ABBY: I have read your column every day for years. Your recent reply to "Waiting for Frank" was right on line, but you omitted one important thing -- how lying and sneaking around is, in itself, detrimental to a person. Frank had promised to make up for all their lying and sneaking around. This kind of behavior changes one, and becomes a part of a person that can never be "made up for."
Thank goodness I had sense enough to know this years ago, when I was a married woman with children and fell in love with a married man who also had children. I knew that lying and sneaking around would change us as people, and realized the damage we could cause our families. Although we were deeply in love, we chose to let our heads rule over our hearts -- and we did not have an affair.
I do not mean to preach. Although we chose not to have an affair, I now have more compassion for people who are not strong enough to resist the temptation. I realize that in a weak moment, it could have happened to us.
It is certainly better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. The love we shared has enriched and sustained my life in many ways, but I am grateful that we did not succumb to the temptation to have an affair. -- HEAD OVER HEART
DEAR HEAD OVER HEART: If more people behaved as you did, I would be out of business. You are very wise. It's better to have used your head than to have bruised your heart and shattered your marriage.
DEAR ABBY: I saw a letter in your column from "Plumber's Wife." She said that every faucet in her house dripped. Well, my mechanic husband and I own five cars. Two won't start at all, and one barely runs. I have sent the car that runs to the repair shop many times, which didn't faze my husband. It meant less work for him.
My father is a carpenter, and my parents' home was always the last to be repaired.
My former husband managed a grocery store and rarely would he shop for me.
I am a child-care provider, but after hours I prefer to be away from small children.
Abby, do you enjoy giving advice after office hours? I think it's only human nature to occupy your precious spare time with something other than your 40-hour-a-week occupation. -- MECHANIC'S WIFE
DEAR MECHANIC'S WIFE: I have no objections to giving advice after office hours. But perhaps that's because I love what I do and consider it a privilege -- not a job.
DEAR ABBY: Our friend "Mary" and her late husband raised six successful adult children, all professionals and most have multiple degrees.
We are upset by the way they treat their aged and disabled mother. They mock her disabilities and diminished hearing in front of her friends -- even strangers. We are embarrassed and angered, but do we have the right to say anything to her brood? Or should we continue to keep quiet? -- SACRAMENTO SAM AND VALLEY TOM
DEAR SAM AND TOM: You not only have the right, but an obligation to say plenty concerning the shabby treatment to which this aged and disabled woman is being subjected. Silence in this case is unforgivable!
What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Pet Adoption Campaign Asks for Open Hearts and Homes
DEAR ABBY: Hats off to you! Because you reminded your readers about the importance of spaying or neutering their pets, thousands of calls from pet owners all over the United States were made to our SPAY/USA hotline number.
Abby, will you please inform your readers about an event that we have conceived and developed that is truly history-making? On May 4 and 5, more than 700 shelters throughout the United States, Canada, England and India will be united for "Pet Adoptathon '96." The participating shelters will remain open for 36 hours straight with the hope of finding a quality home for each and every dog, cat, puppy and kitten in their care.
Just think -- with the help of your readers, thousands of "little guys" all over the world could be safe and sound in adoptive homes by the end of Adoptathon weekend!
Please ask all animal lovers to open their hearts and homes on May 4 and 5. Go to your nearest Pet Adoptathon '96 shelter, pick out a faithful lifetime companion, and enjoy the unconditional love that only a pet can give. For the name of the nearest Adoptathon shelter, call the toll-free hotline number: 1-800-863-4267.
On behalf of all our furry friends, we thank you! -- MIKE ARMS, NORTH SHORE ANIMAL LEAGUE, PORT WASHINGTON, N.Y.
DEAR MIKE ARMS: I'm delighted to help in this noble effort. I can already hear the "meows" and "bowwows" in Southern California.
DEAR ABBY: Our family was invited to my brother-in-law's wedding. The invitation said "Adults only" and noted that a baby sitter would be provided at the house. Nice try, but no go. Look at it from my side: I'm to drive to a strange state, a strange city, a strange house, leave my 2-year-old with a stranger, and then off for six hours and have fun? Fat chance! I'd worry and so would my child. Furthermore, a kid is not a pork chop or a dog; you can't freeze it or tie it up in the back yard.
Our options were: I stay with my child and my wife attends the wedding and reception alone, or we disobey the rules and bring our kid, or we don't go. Period. However we do it, the hosts are not going to be pleased, but that's life.
We attended the wedding as a family. I brought books and toys, parked in a corner of the reception hall, took my kid to wrestle on the lawn and explore the country club. Then I read to him. Afterward, I apologized to the hosts, who were very gracious.
But what disturbs me is how brides lose track of what their wedding is all about. Because they're spending $25,000, they plan a major Hollywood production or a Disneyland extravaganza. They want to direct and make everything perfect. It's not going to happen.
A wedding is nothing but a fancy party, a celebration bringing families and friends together. Uncle Albert is just as likely to get drunk and paw the women, or Cousin Bruce to start a fight, or Jeannie to flirt with the groom as my kid is to spill his punch. You might as well note on the invitation: "No drunks, punks, flirts or smokers." If a bride wants a flawless affair, she should hire a producer, choreographer, and actors to stand in as family, and then mail videos to "invited guests."
Five years from now, when these brides have their own toddlers, they'll receive an invitation to a wedding with a P.S.: "No kids allowed." Then they will understand that every hurt comes home. -- A FAMILY MAN IN BANGOR, MAINE.
DEAR FAMILY MAN: Although you make a strong statement supporting kids at weddings, the fact remains that you brought an uninvited guest -- a 2-year-old who is not responsible for his behavior -- over the objection of your hosts. You should have declined the invitation, or your wife should have attended alone.
DEAR ABBY: I have a cat named Abby. She is an Abyssinian. Some days she's "Dear Abby," and some days she's "Abbie Hoffman"! -- HELEN LEE, R.N.
For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)