For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
DOG'S DEVOTION TO ITS MASTER DESERVES KINDNESS IN RETURN
DEAR ABBY: Knowing that you are an animal lover, I beseech you to print "A Dog's Prayer" again. This has been a brutally cold winter, and I challenge anyone to read it without getting a lump in his throat. -- BUD CALVERT, FORSYTH, MO.
DEAR BUD: I admit I get a lump in my throat when I read it. Here it is:
A DOG'S PRAYER by Beth Norman Harris
Treat me kindly, my beloved master, for no heart in all the world is more grateful for kindness than the loving heart of me.
Do not break my spirit with a stick, for though I should lick your hand between the blows, your patience and understanding will more quickly teach me the things you would have me do.
Speak to me often, for your voice is the world's sweetest music, as you must know by the fierce wagging of my tail when your footstep falls upon my waiting ear.
When it is cold and wet, please take me inside, for I am now a domesticated animal, no longer used to bitter elements. And I ask no greater glory than the privilege of sitting at your feet beside the hearth. Though had you no home, I would rather follow you through ice and snow than rest upon the softest pillow in the warmest home in all the land, for you are my god and I am your devoted worshiper.
Keep my pan filled with fresh water, for although I should not reproach you were it dry, I cannot tell you when I suffer thirst. Feed me clean food, that I may stay well, to romp and play and do your bidding, to walk by your side, and stand ready, willing and able to protect you with my life should your life be in danger.
And, beloved master, should the great Master see fit to deprive me of my health or sight, do not turn me away from you. Rather hold me gently in your arms as skilled hands grant me the merciful boon of eternal rest -- and I will leave you knowing with the last breath I drew, my fate was ever safest in your hands.
DEAR ABBY: I recently took a vacation trip to Hawaii with a friend. The vacation itself was fine, except for the airplane flight.
Upon taking our seats, we noticed a young woman with long hair seated directly in front of us. She immediately started running her fingers through her hair and flipping it over the seat. Then she leaned her chair back and continued to toss her hair over the back of the seat. In fact, she didn't even lean forward for the meal. She was not asleep or reading. This went on for the entire five-hour flight!
We asked her to please lean forward so we could get by to go to the bathroom. When she moved, she made a snide remark and gave us a look that could kill. The seat was immediately returned to the completely leaned-back position -- hair hanging down and all.
Hey, you're trapped on a plane, and when it's full, there is no place to move. How could I have handled this without an ugly confrontation? Sign me ... HARRIED PASSENGER
DEAR PASSENGER: You could have asked the flight attendant to speak to the long-haired passenger. Inconsiderate people rarely see themselves as others see them. Bottom line: The right to swing your arms (or hair) ends where the other person's nose begins.
Mailbox Filled With Memories Honors Marriage of 50 Years
DEAR ABBY: Our parents are Vivian and Orlin Rongstad. Last fall, we started thinking about their 50th wedding anniversary. They made it clear they had no interest in a big celebration.
My sister and I remembered a letter we saw in your column about a woman turning 80, whose daughter arranged a mail campaign to friends requesting they send a note with a recollection instead of a gift. So we went to work.
Unbeknownst to our parents, we poked through their two address books and mailed 136 letters to relatives and friends, from California to Norway. (They live in Wisconsin.) We requested the greatest gift of all -- sharing a memory! We had no clue what the response would be.
It was an unbelievable success. Their anniversary was Feb. 9. From Feb. 5 through Feb. 27, they received 166 cards and letters in the mail, with the majority sharing a memory. Our parents were surprised and delighted with their overflowing mailbox of pleasant remembrances. It truly was the greatest gift we could have given them. Dad said, "A party would have been over in four hours, but this lasted three weeks!"
Thank you, Abby, for the idea. We provided a joyous celebration for our parents without having an organized party. -- PROUD DAUGHTERS KAY IN ILLINOIS AND CAROL IN WISCONSIN
DEAR PROUD DAUGHTERS: My belated congratulations to your parents on the occasion of their 50th anniversary. I'm pleased to learn it brought them so much pleasure.
Many adult children ask how to plan celebrations for parents who are adamant about not collecting more "things" at this stage of their lives.
They ask, "How can we let guests know that our parents do not want gifts?" In past columns, I have offered the following solution:
"The children of Iver and Helen Dahl invite you to celebrate with them the 50th wedding anniversary of their parents. A reception will be held May 7, at 2 p.m., at the Elmhurst Country Club.
"We request your help in compiling a book that recalls memories from our parents' first 50 years of marriage. On the enclosed sheet, we ask that you write one memory or experience that you have shared with them, and return it to us by April 26. We believe that the loving memories they have shared with you, their friends, would be the most treasured gift they could receive; therefore, we request that no other gift be sent."
DEAR ABBY: I just read the letter from "Confused and Hurting," the 44-year-old divorcee who fell into bed with a 50-year-old man on their first date. After two months of "getting together" every night, he suggested that they end their relationship and just be friends.
What "C and H" needs is a big reality adjustment. She willingly feeds her romantic fantasies about being so special and good to this man she's "in love with" that he couldn't help but love her in return and leave his empty but financially comfortable marriage for her. The fact is, this philanderer made it clear he didn't intend to have anything but an affair and that she was a temporary fix.
At 44, this woman is overdue to grow up. If she would give up her fantasy life and spend her time and effort developing some self-esteem, predatory men would avoid her and decent men would take notice. Change may be painful, but it is worth it. She should seek professional help, if necessary. This from ... THE VOICE OF EXPERIENCE
For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
SWEETHEART BEGINS TO SOUR WITH NO CHANGE OF CLOTHES
DEAR ABBY: I have been dating a wonderful man for three months. He takes me out to dinner, to the movies, shopping, etc. He is in his early 40s and I am in my early 30s. He is everything I have ever wanted in a man, and I really care for him.
However, there are a few problems that I don't know how to handle. For one thing, he wears the same clothes for three or four days in a row, and after the first day, he tends to smell of perspiration. He says he showers every other day. Also, he doesn't brush his teeth regularly.
We are going to be living together soon and I would like to clear up these problems before we move in together. Please give me some advice on how to tell him, because his feelings are easily hurt. If it weren't for the reasons stated above, he would be perfect.
Also, this is a small town, so please don't print my name, initials or where it came from. He reads your column every day. -- HIS GIRLFRIEND
DEAR GIRLFRIEND: You must tell your sweetheart that you are concerned about him because he doesn't take proper care of himself. Explain that it's imperative that he see his dentist twice a year, and that he brush and floss his teeth twice a day so that his mouth is always "kissing sweet." And point out the importance of showering every morning and in the evening, too, if he goes out that evening. It goes without saying that a well-groomed adult launders or changes his clothes daily.
Once it has been pointed out to him, insist that he follow these suggestions. Living with someone who has poor personal hygiene could be very trying to anyone with a keen sense of smell, and I'm putting this mildly!
DEAR ABBY: With summer coming, this may help people who have swimming pools.
We bought a home with a pool. Each warm day, we came home to a "pool party" -- but not ours. All the neighborhood kids were on our property. We could not keep them out; they climbed over our locked fence.
We got our lawyer to print a "release of responsibility" form. The children had to have it signed and notarized, and could not use the pool without a parent and the signed form each and every time they used the pool.
Needless to say, the parents got tired of watching their own kids, so now we finally have the exclusive use of our pool. -- SAN FRANCISCO READER
DEAR READER: Congratulations. Others could learn from you.
DEAR ABBY: Several years ago -- perhaps three or four -- you printed a brief prayer titled "A Serenity Prayer." Will you kindly print it again? It is one of the wisest prayers I've ever read. -- LONGTIME READER IN HAWAII
DEAR READER: With pleasure:
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)