DEAR ABBY: Our 29-year-old son married a beautiful girl about six years ago. We noticed before their marriage that she never said "thank you" when something was done for her, or when gifts were given to her. (We didn't feel we were in a position to say anything, but we tried to set an example by voicing appreciation when they -- or anyone else -- did something nice for us.)
Now, however, our son seems to have acquired the same behavior, and it's very disturbing because he was raised to be courteous and appreciative. When either one receives a gift, they look at it, may say something like, "Oh, where did you get this?" or more often than not, say nothing, and they just put it aside.
Abby, we don't give strange or odd gifts. The items they have received from us are either displayed in their apartment or worn.
Isn't it reasonable to expect a "thank you" or at least, "This is nice, I like it"? We'd like to say something to them without hurting their feelings, but are not certain what that should be. What are your thoughts on this? -- PERPLEXED PARENTS
DEAR PERPLEXED PARENTS: Ask your son privately why his wife does not acknowledge your gifts. She may not have been taught that it's common courtesy to express gratitude. It's time someone taught her -- and your son should gently set her straight.
Advise him that it is discouraging to spend time, effort and money on a gift that goes unacknowledged.