DEAR ABBY: I have a family dilemma. My 11- and 5-year-old sons are disrespectful to my husband and me. They also swear a lot. My problem is my husband doesn't care and refuses to do anything about it, while I care a great deal and try to do everything I can to stop it. Obviously, my kids are getting a mixed message.
Since my husband allows it, my 11-year-old swears at him, but knows not to mess with me. My 5-year-old doesn't understand, though, and swears at both of us -- and I just can't stand it. I feel as though I'll go out of my mind or even leave the house if it doesn't stop.
How should I deal with this? -- UPSET IN UTAH
DEAR UPSET: One way to get a child to behave is to withhold privileges (something the child enjoys) if he misbehaves. It might be television, movies, sweets, phone privileges, playing with friends, favorite toys, video games or computer time. Your 5-year-old is certainly old enough to understand English. Once he realizes that cursing Mommy makes her less cooperative and generous, he might think before speaking disrespectfully to you.
By refusing to assert parental authority over his sons, your husband is being incredibly foolish. It appears you're dealing with three children -- not two!