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by Abigail Van Buren

Man Stays Married for Money Despite Woman's Offer of Love

DEAR ABBY: I am 44 and have been divorced for two years. I recently met a very attractive man who has been unhappily married for 25 years. The only reason he is not divorced is money -- it would break him.

I went to bed with him on our first date, and it was wonderful for both of us. After that we saw each other almost every night for two months. Then he said we were getting "too close," and suggested that we end our relationship and just be "friends."

I explained that I was in love with him and couldn't be his "friend." I know he has feelings for me, but he's too stubborn to admit it.

I have not been with any other men since I met him. I've called him a few times, and can tell by his voice that he still cares for me. I asked him if he still loves me and he said, "It doesn't matter -- we just can't see each other anymore."

Abby, why is money more important than his true feelings? He is in his 50s and has everything a man could want, but he doesn't have the love I'm offering him. What should I do? -- CONFUSED AND HURTING

DEAR CONFUSED AND HURTING: Keep looking for a man who's available. Not every man is willing to sacrifice everything for "love." This one may care about you -- but he cares more about the assets he's accumulated and is unwilling to divide them to pursue a future with you.