DEAR ABBY: Our father died several years ago. Since that time, our mother remarried. After she remarried, she and her new husband decided that they wanted to be buried next to each other, which is not a problem.
What is a problem is this: My sister and I bought and paid for a double headstone for our parents. It was beautiful, with brass nameplates for each of them and a removable brass vase. Our mother and her new husband liked it so much that they decided to remove Dad's brass plate, moved the headstone to their plot and had her new husband's brass plate put on.
My sister and I are very upset about this, as we were the ones who picked the headstone for our parents, and we have asked our mother to at least replace the one that was taken. This has caused quite a family problem.
Should we have said nothing and just bought another headstone for our father's grave, or were we right to request that they do it? -- DISMAYED IN DETROIT
DEAR DISMAYED: For your mother and her new husband to have moved the headstone from your father's grave and left nothing in its place was presumptuous and insensitive. Since they didn't pay for it, they should either return or replace it. But if they are unwilling to do it, then you must. You have my sympathy on both the loss of your father and the actions of your mother.