DEAR ABBY: "Steve" and I have been married for three years. I'm 37 and Steve is 30. Steve told me right off the bat that he did not want children. (I was ambivalent.)
Recently I asked him to get a vasectomy as some of his friends have done, because I'm tired of the cost of the pill as well as its side effects, and a vasectomy is easier than female sterilization. Steve absolutely refused even to discuss it with me, much less with a counselor.
Abby, now I'm worried that in a few years down the line he could divorce me and have children with a younger woman, but I'd be too old to get married again and have children.
Is Steve just using me for sex and companionship until he reaches the financial peak of his career?
I am considering getting pregnant "accidentally" so that even if we got divorced, I'd have some child support coming in. What should I do? -- ANXIOUS IN ST. PAUL
DEAR ANXIOUS: The questions you have raised indicate that your marriage is on shaky ground. A marriage without trust is no marriage at all. It is possible that your husband is afraid that a vasectomy will be painful, or somehow make him "less of a man." It is imperative that you and Steve reach an understanding about this. "Accidentally" getting pregnant will only worsen the situation.