DEAR READERS: Here's a thought-provoking quote from the late -- and great -- author, John Steinbeck: "We give the president more work than a man can do, more responsibility than a man should take, more pressure than a man can bear. We abuse him often, and rarely praise him. We wear him out, use him up, eat him up. And with all this, Americans have a love for the president that goes beyond party loyalty or nationality; he is ours, and we exercise the right to destroy him."
Dad Does Not Take Lightly Marriage to a Heavyweight
DEAR ABBY: My father has lived with a lady for several years, but he will not marry her because of her weight. (Of course, he has not told her this.)
She is not fat, but she is a little overweight, a size 12 to 14. When we ask Dad why he hasn't proposed yet, he just says, "She's on a diet right now, and as soon as she loses some weight and stays slim for a while, I'll see about it."
Should I tell her she's wasting her time with my dad? It seems to me that he's just waiting for something better to come along. She cooks, cleans house, washes his clothes, everything. I feel he is just using her. He says he "loves" her.
I think if he loves her, he should marry her. What is your opinion? -- A SOUTHERNER
DEAR SOUTHERNER: It is not your place to tell the lady anything. When your father asks for your opinion -- and not until then -- give it to him with both barrels.
DEAR ABBY: I am a single mom looking for a job. Recently I was called for an interview, and it seemed to go very well, as I was called back for a second interview.
The prospective employer told me he would call me next week with a decision. Abby, I waited a whole week without any word, so I decided to call them back. I left a message, and again no response.
Abby, if someone is called in for an interview, wouldn't it be simple, common courtesy for the interviewer to take a few minutes to say, yes, no, or thank you? -- SNUBBED, BRAMPTON, ONTARIO, CANADA
DEAR SNUBBED: Yours is a question that I have been asked several times.
Of course you should have been called back (as promised) and told that you did not get the job, so you could feel free to continue your job search.
DEAR ABBY: My personal frustration with today's impersonal communications systems led me to write the enclosed poem. It was printed in my local newspaper, and is also posted in the library. It gets lots of laughs -- and is yours to print if you see fit. -- RAE LUDWIG, PLEASANTVILLE, N.J.
DEAR RAE: It's a hoot -- and well worth sharing.
DIAL 'F' FOR FRUSTRATION
The frustrating non-communication of today's fax, e-mail and telephone systems leads me to peer into the future:
You have reached your doctor.
If it's your head, press 1 NOW.
If it's your stomach, press 2 NOW.
If it's your heart, press 3 NOW.
If you've died while waiting, press 4 NOW
and the morgue will be over to pick you up.
To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
You Don't Have to Be a Prude to Be Offended by Television
DEAR ABBY: Where have all the smart Hollywood producers gone? Is sex all they are able to write about? It's disgusting!
I grew up in the '70s and am far from a prude, but why is it so difficult to find a clean television show these days?
They say that sex sells. If that's true, why is "Home Improvement" so popular? It's consistently one of the top-rated shows. If I want to see raw sex, I'll rent a movie or a video. Give me a break! And while I'm at it, violence is something else I can live without. Isn't it scary enough to see someone getting shot? Do they need to show someone's head blown off?
Thanks for letting me speak up. -- HAD ENOUGH IN WATERLOO, N.Y.
DEAR HAD ENOUGH: I've also had enough -- and "Home Improvement" happens to be one of my favorites, too.
On Feb. 29 in Washington, a group of network executives promised to begin rating television programs by the end of this year. It will be interesting to see if this voluntary rating system leads to any reduction of sex and violence on TV.
DEAR ABBY: Your recent column on the subject of children showering with their parents struck a nerve with me because my daughter-in-law often suggests that my son shower with their 3-year-old daughter "to save time." This is a big "no-no" with me.
One time when I was at their home, my son was going to take his daughter into the shower with him. (Her mother was not home.) I spoke up and said, "That child is too old to be showering with you; I'll bathe her in the other bathroom." He acquiesced.
Abby, they also allow this child to sleep with them on occasion. Another "no-no" in my book. I was brought up to respect privacy; the parents' bedroom should be strictly for the parents.
This couple is in their 40s, so they are old enough to know better. Both are professional people.
I remain concerned about this situation. I try to be a good mother-in-law and don't want to cause any trouble, so I usually keep my mouth shut. Perhaps a few words in your column about this subject will get through to them. -- OLD-FASHIONED GRANDMA
DEAR GRANDMA: You are not old-fashioned -- I agree with you. A 3-year-old child should not shower or bathe with a parent of the opposite sex, and should sleep in his/her own bed. A little snuggling for a few minutes while telling a bedtime story is OK, but parents should not make a habit of allowing their children to sleep with them.
DEAR ABBY: Your recent suggestion of giving a fire extinguisher as a gift to newlyweds was excellent.
Many people (myself included) put the fire extinguisher in a cabinet directly over the stove to have it handy. This is the worst possible place if a fire starts in or on the stove, since you may not be able to get to the fire extinguisher because of the flames.
This was pointed out by a local fireman at a lecture on fire safety. Of those present at the lecture, the majority who had an extinguisher in the kitchen had it over the stove. -- MARY G. BOURQUE, LAKEVILLE, MASS.
DEAR MARY: Excuse me, I'm going to my kitchen to see where the fire extinguisher is. ...
... I'm back, and sure enough, it was right over the stove, so I moved it to the opposite corner of the kitchen
Thank you for a valuable suggestion to share with my readers.
What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
DEAR ABBY: I have read your column for many years and enjoy it. The services you offer to the military, such as Operation Dear Abby, are great. However, I'm writing you now because of a disturbing letter I read in your column from Kent D. Myrick of Phoenix, regarding Peace Corps benefits.
I sympathize with Mr. Myrick and all Peace Corps volunteers regarding their lack of recognition for a valuable contribution to all peoples. My problem is with his characterization of military members as "my peers who are trained to go to other nations and subjugate or kill their inhabitants."
I'm a sergeant first class in the U.S. Army and have served my country proudly for 18 years. I had thought that this kind of prejudice against the military was dead. I would like Mr. Myrick to take a moment of his time to research some of the missions that our country's military forces have been involved in during recent years -- operations such as those that have taken place in Somalia, Rwanda, and those currently taking place in the former Yugoslavia. All were operations designed to help countries get back on their feet and, in many cases, to allow the inhabitants to enjoy the freedom that we as Americans enjoy.
This is 1996, and some of the utmost concerns of today's military are peacekeeping and peace enforcement missions. We are currently deployed around the globe providing support to people in need through many different programs. Do we love the people of other lands? See the tears streaming down the face of a 21-year-old specialist as he holds a child in Ethiopia who has just died of malnutrition. You will find his tears are not for himself, but they are the pain of knowing that this tragedy never should have happened.
It's unfair to judge the military and Peace Corps workers as peers. It is through the hard work and diligence of our country's armed forces that we are able to have an organization such as the Peace Corps.
I assure you that while members of the military are trained to fight in the defense of our country, we have many other valuable skills as well.
Thank you for allowing me to voice my opinion. -- SFC CURTIS D. ARCHULETA, HOHENFELS, GERMANY
DEAR SFC ARCHULETA: Thank you for voicing your opinion so politely and without rancor. I received many angry letters about that item. Although I agree with Mr. Myrick that there should be greater rewards for Peace Corps volunteers, I wish to apologize for publishing a letter so filled with outdated political rhetoric.
DEAR ABBY: In a recent column, a reader complained about automated telephone answering menus -- or whatever they are called. Well, any time I am plagued with one of those "by the numbers" routines, I get a letter off to the perpetrator with the suggestion that he/she switch to my menu. Here it is:
To make an appointment, dial 2-C.
For after-hours shopping, dial 7-11.
To hammer nails, push the "pound" key.
To make a wish, push the "star" key.
To be fitted for a dance costume, dial 2-2.
When you return from lunch, dial I-8.
To play tic-tac-toe, push the number key.
And finally, to reach top management, dial zero!
-- ARTHUR H. LASSER, LARGO, FLA.
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)