Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
DEAR ABBY: I have read your column for many years and enjoy it. The services you offer to the military, such as Operation Dear Abby, are great. However, I'm writing you now because of a disturbing letter I read in your column from Kent D. Myrick of Phoenix, regarding Peace Corps benefits.
I sympathize with Mr. Myrick and all Peace Corps volunteers regarding their lack of recognition for a valuable contribution to all peoples. My problem is with his characterization of military members as "my peers who are trained to go to other nations and subjugate or kill their inhabitants."
I'm a sergeant first class in the U.S. Army and have served my country proudly for 18 years. I had thought that this kind of prejudice against the military was dead. I would like Mr. Myrick to take a moment of his time to research some of the missions that our country's military forces have been involved in during recent years -- operations such as those that have taken place in Somalia, Rwanda, and those currently taking place in the former Yugoslavia. All were operations designed to help countries get back on their feet and, in many cases, to allow the inhabitants to enjoy the freedom that we as Americans enjoy.
This is 1996, and some of the utmost concerns of today's military are peacekeeping and peace enforcement missions. We are currently deployed around the globe providing support to people in need through many different programs. Do we love the people of other lands? See the tears streaming down the face of a 21-year-old specialist as he holds a child in Ethiopia who has just died of malnutrition. You will find his tears are not for himself, but they are the pain of knowing that this tragedy never should have happened.
It's unfair to judge the military and Peace Corps workers as peers. It is through the hard work and diligence of our country's armed forces that we are able to have an organization such as the Peace Corps.
I assure you that while members of the military are trained to fight in the defense of our country, we have many other valuable skills as well.
Thank you for allowing me to voice my opinion. -- SFC CURTIS D. ARCHULETA, HOHENFELS, GERMANY
DEAR SFC ARCHULETA: Thank you for voicing your opinion so politely and without rancor. I received many angry letters about that item. Although I agree with Mr. Myrick that there should be greater rewards for Peace Corps volunteers, I wish to apologize for publishing a letter so filled with outdated political rhetoric.
DEAR ABBY: In a recent column, a reader complained about automated telephone answering menus -- or whatever they are called. Well, any time I am plagued with one of those "by the numbers" routines, I get a letter off to the perpetrator with the suggestion that he/she switch to my menu. Here it is:
To make an appointment, dial 2-C.
For after-hours shopping, dial 7-11.
To hammer nails, push the "pound" key.
To make a wish, push the "star" key.
To be fitted for a dance costume, dial 2-2.
When you return from lunch, dial I-8.
To play tic-tac-toe, push the number key.
And finally, to reach top management, dial zero!
-- ARTHUR H. LASSER, LARGO, FLA.
SEX, VIOLENCE AND PROFANITY ARE AS OLD AS HUMAN NATURE
DEAR ABBY: I would like to address the contention that books, TV and the movies are corrupting today's citizens -- especially its youth.
If that is so, please tell me what books Cain read before he murdered his brother Abel. What soap opera did Lot's two daughters watch that influenced them to get their father drunk and commit incest? And what vile movie prompted the woman at the well to take up a life of dissolution?
The media reflect human mores and values, not influence them. When I was a boy of 8 or 9, I knew all the "facts of life," which were given to me crudely, by the "big boys" of the village of perhaps 200 souls, who were churchgoing people almost to a man. There were no daily newspapers, movies only occasionally, no TV, and only one radio in the village. So where did we hear of sex, violence and profanity? From our peers! It has always been thus. The media do not set the trends -- they follow them.
If no one bought tobacco, apples or potatoes, no farmer would raise them. If there were no demand for smut, no one would go to the expense of providing it, because without profit, there is no incentive. Much of America has come to expect or demand sex, violence and profanity; thus we have it. Trendsetters are usually friends among us. -- HOWARD CHILDRESS, MURFREESBORO, TENN.
DEAR MR. CHILDRESS: There is no denying the truth in your observations. Thank you for writing -- I appreciate your common sense. You've been contributing to this column almost as long as I have been writing it.
Take good care of yourself, Howard. I need you.
DEAR ABBY: When I read the letter in your column from Polly Schrock, asking about couples who had lived 100 years or longer, I had to write.
Our friends and neighbors, who lived one mile from us for years, lived longer than that.
W.A. Fullingim lived to be 110 years old. He was born July 7, 1855, in Mount Vernon, Texas, and died Aug. 6, 1965, in Lawton, Okla. On his 100th birthday, I baked him a chiffon cake, and I subsequently baked him 11 more until his death.
His wife, Nancy Ellen Fullingim, lived to be 103 years old. She was born Nov. 1, 1860, in Decatur, Texas, and died on April 25, 1964. (I made four cakes for her, starting when she was 100 years old.)
The Fullingims had celebrated their 84th wedding anniversary in August 1963. They lived on their ranch in western Comanche County from 1917 until their deaths. They are buried in Lawton. They had three children and three grandchildren, but no great-grandchildren. The immediate family is gone. -- DELORES CALLEN, HOBART, OKLA.
DEAR DELORES: Thank you for the input. I'll be very surprised if anyone can beat the Fullingims' record for longevity or marriage.
DEAR ABBY: I am getting on in years and have been widowed since 1986. I have many nice things and wonder if I should give them to my children now, so they can enjoy them. I have little use for these lovely things, and there is more chance of them being stolen if I keep them.
What should I do? -- WONDERING IN MISSOURI
DEAR WONDERING: I once answered that question this way: Do your givin'
While you're livin'
And you'll be knowin'
Where it's goin'.
What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Telemarketers Offer These Tips to Sort Good Guys From Bad
DEAR ABBY: It is important to remember that the funds which are raised through legitimate telemarketing are the lifeblood for many major nonprofit organizations. As president of the American Telephone Fundraisers Association, I applaud the FTC rule that helps people fight back against criminals who use telephones to cheat people.
I'd like to offer your readers a few tips to distinguish legitimate telemarketers from scam artists. The following are tips for making telephone donations.
1. Give because you believe in the cause, the charity or organization. Good telemarketers never pressure or threaten those they phone for donations.
2. Be wary of the "too-good-to-be-true" pitches. Legitimate telemarketers do not offer valuable rewards or gifts.
3. If concerned, ask for identification. Legitimate marketing companies welcome verification calls from potential donors.
4. When in doubt, ask for information in writing. Professional telemarketers are sympathetic to questions and won't hesitate to provide written information about the charity they represent.
5. Ask questions. Don't be shy about inquiring how the donation will be used. Professional telemarketers have thorough knowledge of the charity they represent and will provide that information on demand.
6. Ask if the telemarketing firm is a member of any telemarketing trade association. Firms belonging to the American Telephone Fundraisers Association follow the industry's most stringent code of ethics, and their telemarketers will be aware of their company's membership. -- RALPH REESE, PITTSBURGH
DEAR MR. REESE: I am sure my readers will appreciate knowing they need not be intimidated by telemarketers. Thank you for a valuable letter -- one that's well worth posting near the telephone.
DEAR ABBY: Some of your readers complain about junk mail and want to know how to stop it. Abby, not everyone is disgusted with junk mail. The complainers should look at the broader picture.
The primary problem today in the United States is unemployment. Think about it -- if you eliminate junk mail, how many people will be out of work? Because of this mail, more postal workers are needed. Don't forget clerks, printers, lumberjacks and factory workers to produce products sold by mail, and copywriters, photographers, truckers, computer operators, and on and on. Entire businesses exist only because of this method of marketing. Need I go on?
Many people like me enjoy getting mail and ordering from home. When I receive junk mail I don't want, it goes in the recycle bin (yet another business that exists because of junk mail).
As to the environmental arguments, I believe most mail-order businesses use a great deal of recycled paper.
I vote to keep junk mail coming and more people working. -- E.A.T. IN GARLAND, TEXAS
DEAR E.A.T.: True optimists like you see the silver lining behind every cloud. You are outnumbered, but some of your arguments make sense.
To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)