DEAR ABBY: In a recent column, a reader complained about automated telephone answering menus -- or whatever they are called. Well, any time I am plagued with one of those "by the numbers" routines, I get a letter off to the perpetrator with the suggestion that he/she switch to my menu. Here it is:
To make an appointment, dial 2-C.
For after-hours shopping, dial 7-11.
To hammer nails, push the "pound" key.
To make a wish, push the "star" key.
To be fitted for a dance costume, dial 2-2.
When you return from lunch, dial I-8.
To play tic-tac-toe, push the number key.
And finally, to reach top management, dial zero!
-- ARTHUR H. LASSER, LARGO, FLA.