To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Grandma's Memories Become Family's Most Treasured Gift
DEAR ABBY: My grandmother lives on a fixed income. For years I have sent her boxes of Christmas cards and stamps to help her with holiday expenses. They're a great gift for someone with a limited income who doesn't need one more bottle of bath oil or another knickknack. I was surprised last year when she told me that she was working on a Christmas present for me. It was a history of her life.
She dictated her biography into a tape recorder, and my aunt used a word processor to transcribe it. It began: "I, Pearl Thompson, was born in Iroquois in Kingsbury County, S.D., on May 4, 1907." It goes on, sharing all the milestones of her 87 years. She describes her father and his sons claiming land in South Dakota; building their own houses; seeing Halley's comet in 1911; and how they survived the year the great drought hit. She shared how she met George (my grandfather) and some of her grandparents' genealogy, of which I was unaware.
My favorite story is a Christmas memory: "A special Christmas for me was during the '30s when a 10-gallon can of cream sold for $3.50, and eggs were a nickel a dozen. George took the produce to town and came home carrying a pretty plate. I have used it every Christmas since."
And now her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren have this precious memento to remember her by.
I hope you will tell your readers about my grandmother's priceless Christmas gift, Abby. Then perhaps more grandchildren will share in the true joy of the holidays. -- TERRY L. THOMPSON, DALLAS
DEAR TERRY: A family history is a gift that money can't buy and exemplifies the true spirit of Christmas -- the gift of "self." Although your letter arrived too late to inspire my readers last Christmas, perhaps it will be an incentive for those who have put off recording their family history. Read on for a similar example of "keepsake creativity":
DEAR ABBY: A few years ago my parents made a videotape for their children and grandchildren. It was the most precious Christmas gift I have ever received.
They told us as much as they could remember about their parents, grandparents and family history. They told about their childhood, youth, meeting and falling in love. They described their early marriage, their hopes, dreams and plans for their life together. They talked about us children as babies, and related stories that were funny, sad, poignant and informative. They told of their triumphs and tragedies, dreams fulfilled and forsaken. They repeated family stories that kids hear many times but soon forget.
There was no attempt to make it a professional tape. They simply borrowed a camcorder, set it up and started to talk. If a horn blew, a dog barked, a phone rang -- no one seemed to care. It took them about a week to make the tape. One would talk until he or she was tired, then the other would sit down and carry on. The recorder would be turned off until the next day.
My parents are both gone now, but I can still hear their voices, see their faces and feel that they are here with me. This gift, which cost only a little time and a lot of love, is my greatest treasure. -- MARTI ALLEN, DAYTONA BEACH, FLA.
DEAR MARTI: From your description, I, too, can almost hear them talking. And for those people who are intimidated in front of a camera, or can't seem to get started, a simple question can get the ball rolling: "Mother, will you please tell me a little about your childhood and your family?"
DEAR READERS: This week is International Forgiveness Week. In years past, I have cited a portion of the lovely poem by George Roemisch, which is appropriately titled "Forgiveness":
"Forgiveness is the fragrance of the violet which still clings fast to the heel that crushed it."
In response to many requests from readers to see the entire poem, here it is:
FORGIVENESS
Forgiveness is the wind-blown bud which
blooms in placid beauty at Verdun.
Forgiveness is the tiny slate-gray sparrow
which has built its nest of twigs and
string among the shards of glass upon the
wall of shame.
Forgiveness is the child who laughs in merry
ecstasy beneath the toothed fence
that closes in Da Nang.
Forgiveness is the fragrance of the
violet which still clings fast to the
heel that crushed it.
Forgiveness is the broken dream which
hides itself within the corner of the
mind oft called forgetfulness so that it
will not bring pain to the dreamer.
Forgiveness is the reed which stands up
straight and green when nature's mighty
rampage halts, full spent.
Forgiveness is a God who will not leave
us after all we've done.
-- GEORGE ROEMISCH
So, Dear Reader, a gentle reminder: If perchance you are the "heel" that crushed a violet -- this is the week to seek forgiveness. -- LOVE, ABBY
DEAR ABBY: Your readers' response to Rod Carew's letter concerning his daughter, Michelle, and her fight against leukemia was tremendous.
In his letter, Rod requested that readers contact the National Marrow Donor Program (NMDP) and become volunteer donors to help patients in need of transplants. More than 22,000 Dear Abby readers have called 1-800-MARROW-2 (1-800-627-7692) for information. Many have already had the blood test necessary to join the registry of potential donors. The response to this letter has been greater than any other single print exposure of the NMDP's telephone number. Calls related to Michelle Carew currently total more than 47,000.
The National Marrow Donor Program thanks everyone who called for information, especially those who have, or will soon have, their tissue types listed to benefit the thousands seeking donors.
Abby, as the number of volunteers increases, more patients will find donors able to provide lifesaving bone marrow. To date, NMDP donors have given more than 4,000 patients the chance to beat their diseases, but many others are still waiting.
Our heartfelt thanks to you and your generous readers for their assistance. -- CRAIG W.S. HOWE, M.D., PH.D., CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER, NATIONAL MARROW DONOR PROGRAM
DEAR DR. HOWE: Thank you for the update. Michelle Carew and the many others who await donor matches are in our thoughts and prayers.
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Peace Corps Volunteers Do Lots of Giving, Little Getting
DEAR ABBY: A heartfelt thanks for mentioning the Peace Corps volunteers in your New Year's Day blessings. This is something I have never heard before, and I was in the first Peace Corps group in Honduras in 1962.
Those of my peers who are trained to go to other nations and subjugate or kill the inhabitants there are offered many inducements or rewards, such as government assistance in schooling, home loans, health insurance and care, Veterans Administration hospitals and point preference on tests for government jobs.
I have no problem with this. However, to my knowledge, none of these rewards are offered to returning Peace Corps volunteers, those of us who were trained to understand and love the people of other lands and to offer them our friendship.
In a Christian country that supposedly espouses love for all mankind, what kind of statement does this make about our true attitude toward others? -- KENT D. MYRICK, PHOENIX
DEAR KENT MYRICK: It's shameful. A brief history of the Peace Corps:
In January 1960, Sen. Richard L. Neuberger of Oregon and Congressman Henry S. Reuss of Wisconsin asked Congress to study the possibilities of a youth corps program. Later that year, Sen. Hubert H. Humphrey of Minnesota proposed that Congress create a Peace Corps.
Sen. John F. Kennedy of Massachusetts used the proposal for a Peace Corps in his 1960 presidential election campaign. He declared, "There is not enough money in all America to relieve the misery of the underdeveloped world in a giant and endless soup kitchen, but there is enough know-how and knowledgeable people to help those nations to help themselves."
Kennedy was elected president in November 1960. He established the Peace Corps in March 1961. The first volunteers started training at Rutgers University in New Brunswick, N.J. Sargent Shriver (Kennedy's brother-in-law) was the first director.
More than 80,000 Americans have served as Peace Corps volunteers.
DEAR ABBY: The letter from "Lost in Kansas City, Kan." -- the person with no sense of direction -- really hit home with me. The phrase "directional dyslexia" is a great way to describe someone who suffers from this problem.
I have had it for as long as I can remember. I'm a schoolteacher, and my friends make fun of me, saying things like, "I can't believe you went to college." They don't realize that lacking a sense of direction has nothing to do with intelligence or education.
It is frightening to have no idea which direction is correct. I have gone to the same mall for 20 years and still can't pinpoint where a particular department store is. I can drive the same route many times and never know whether to turn left or right.
My solution is to always have my cellular phone with me. It has come in handy many times. I have one very understanding friend I call. She stays on the line and gives me directions until I arrive at my destination.
Please, Abby, urge your readers to have a little compassion for those of us with no sense of direction. -- NO LAUGHING MATTER, FORT LAUDERDALE
DEAR NO LAUGHING MATTER: Your suggestion to carry a cellular phone so you can get directions is a good one. If your Good Samaritan's line is busy, you could also call the business you're trying to find. Some enterprising salesperson may be willing to guide you to your destination. Also, a compass for your dashboard may be helpful.
For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)