Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
DEAR READERS: This week is International Forgiveness Week. In years past, I have cited a portion of the lovely poem by George Roemisch, which is appropriately titled "Forgiveness":
"Forgiveness is the fragrance of the violet which still clings fast to the heel that crushed it."
In response to many requests from readers to see the entire poem, here it is:
FORGIVENESS
Forgiveness is the wind-blown bud which
blooms in placid beauty at Verdun.
Forgiveness is the tiny slate-gray sparrow
which has built its nest of twigs and
string among the shards of glass upon the
wall of shame.
Forgiveness is the child who laughs in merry
ecstasy beneath the toothed fence
that closes in Da Nang.
Forgiveness is the fragrance of the
violet which still clings fast to the
heel that crushed it.
Forgiveness is the broken dream which
hides itself within the corner of the
mind oft called forgetfulness so that it
will not bring pain to the dreamer.
Forgiveness is the reed which stands up
straight and green when nature's mighty
rampage halts, full spent.
Forgiveness is a God who will not leave
us after all we've done.
-- GEORGE ROEMISCH
So, Dear Reader, a gentle reminder: If perchance you are the "heel" that crushed a violet -- this is the week to seek forgiveness. -- LOVE, ABBY
DEAR ABBY: Your readers' response to Rod Carew's letter concerning his daughter, Michelle, and her fight against leukemia was tremendous.
In his letter, Rod requested that readers contact the National Marrow Donor Program (NMDP) and become volunteer donors to help patients in need of transplants. More than 22,000 Dear Abby readers have called 1-800-MARROW-2 (1-800-627-7692) for information. Many have already had the blood test necessary to join the registry of potential donors. The response to this letter has been greater than any other single print exposure of the NMDP's telephone number. Calls related to Michelle Carew currently total more than 47,000.
The National Marrow Donor Program thanks everyone who called for information, especially those who have, or will soon have, their tissue types listed to benefit the thousands seeking donors.
Abby, as the number of volunteers increases, more patients will find donors able to provide lifesaving bone marrow. To date, NMDP donors have given more than 4,000 patients the chance to beat their diseases, but many others are still waiting.
Our heartfelt thanks to you and your generous readers for their assistance. -- CRAIG W.S. HOWE, M.D., PH.D., CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER, NATIONAL MARROW DONOR PROGRAM
DEAR DR. HOWE: Thank you for the update. Michelle Carew and the many others who await donor matches are in our thoughts and prayers.
Peace Corps Volunteers Do Lots of Giving, Little Getting
DEAR ABBY: A heartfelt thanks for mentioning the Peace Corps volunteers in your New Year's Day blessings. This is something I have never heard before, and I was in the first Peace Corps group in Honduras in 1962.
Those of my peers who are trained to go to other nations and subjugate or kill the inhabitants there are offered many inducements or rewards, such as government assistance in schooling, home loans, health insurance and care, Veterans Administration hospitals and point preference on tests for government jobs.
I have no problem with this. However, to my knowledge, none of these rewards are offered to returning Peace Corps volunteers, those of us who were trained to understand and love the people of other lands and to offer them our friendship.
In a Christian country that supposedly espouses love for all mankind, what kind of statement does this make about our true attitude toward others? -- KENT D. MYRICK, PHOENIX
DEAR KENT MYRICK: It's shameful. A brief history of the Peace Corps:
In January 1960, Sen. Richard L. Neuberger of Oregon and Congressman Henry S. Reuss of Wisconsin asked Congress to study the possibilities of a youth corps program. Later that year, Sen. Hubert H. Humphrey of Minnesota proposed that Congress create a Peace Corps.
Sen. John F. Kennedy of Massachusetts used the proposal for a Peace Corps in his 1960 presidential election campaign. He declared, "There is not enough money in all America to relieve the misery of the underdeveloped world in a giant and endless soup kitchen, but there is enough know-how and knowledgeable people to help those nations to help themselves."
Kennedy was elected president in November 1960. He established the Peace Corps in March 1961. The first volunteers started training at Rutgers University in New Brunswick, N.J. Sargent Shriver (Kennedy's brother-in-law) was the first director.
More than 80,000 Americans have served as Peace Corps volunteers.
DEAR ABBY: The letter from "Lost in Kansas City, Kan." -- the person with no sense of direction -- really hit home with me. The phrase "directional dyslexia" is a great way to describe someone who suffers from this problem.
I have had it for as long as I can remember. I'm a schoolteacher, and my friends make fun of me, saying things like, "I can't believe you went to college." They don't realize that lacking a sense of direction has nothing to do with intelligence or education.
It is frightening to have no idea which direction is correct. I have gone to the same mall for 20 years and still can't pinpoint where a particular department store is. I can drive the same route many times and never know whether to turn left or right.
My solution is to always have my cellular phone with me. It has come in handy many times. I have one very understanding friend I call. She stays on the line and gives me directions until I arrive at my destination.
Please, Abby, urge your readers to have a little compassion for those of us with no sense of direction. -- NO LAUGHING MATTER, FORT LAUDERDALE
DEAR NO LAUGHING MATTER: Your suggestion to carry a cellular phone so you can get directions is a good one. If your Good Samaritan's line is busy, you could also call the business you're trying to find. Some enterprising salesperson may be willing to guide you to your destination. Also, a compass for your dashboard may be helpful.
For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
WIDOW REMEMBERS HUSBAND BY SHARING HIS LOVE OF HORSES
DEAR ABBY: I found this "Horse's Prayer" in my late husband's desk in 1991, the year he died. He loved horses and took very good care of them.
My husband was a farmer and a dedicated man who took pride in his work. He unloaded horses and cattle for the Southern Pacific Co. for 25 years. -- CATHERINE E. LANFRANCO, FRESNO, CALIF.
DEAR CATHERINE: Thank you for sharing it. I know many of my readers who love horses will relate to it.
A HORSE'S PRAYER
Feed me, water me and care for me. And when my day's work is done, provide me with shelter, a clean, dry bed, and a stall wide enough for me to lie down in comfort.
Talk to me. Your voice often means as much to me as the reins.
Pet me sometimes, that I may serve you the more gladly and learn to love you.
Do not jerk the reins and do not whip me when going uphill.
Never strike, beat or kick me when I do not understand what you mean, but give me a chance to understand.
Watch me, and if I fail to do your bidding, see if something is wrong with my harness or feet. Examine my teeth when I do not eat. I may have an ulcerated tooth that is very painful.
Do not tie my head in an unnatural position, or take away my best defense against flies by cutting off my tail. (I don't take away YOUR mosquito curtains.)
Don't smoke in my barn or leave me tied up overnight and perhaps burn me to death while you are sleeping in your comfortable bed.
And last, my master: When my strength is gone, do not turn me out in a pasture with no shelter and let me freeze to death, or sell me to some cruel owner to be slowly starved or worked to death, but take my life in the kindest way, and your God will reward you -- hereafter. -- AUTHOR UNKNOWN
DEAR ABBY: My mother has plenty of money. In fact, she's obsessed with it. We keep telling her to spend it and enjoy life, but she doesn't listen. It's like money is her god.
The topper came on my daughter's birthday. My mother sent her a card with nothing in it! I never thought she'd be so tight she'd deprive her grandchild. Believe me, $10 wouldn't have hurt her at all.
Since talking to her only makes her angry, if you print this letter, maybe she'll see it, recognize herself and wise up. -- UPSET IN DULUTH
DEAR UPSET: Please keep in mind that no one is obligated to give birthday gifts. Gifts are voluntary. Many grandparents cease giving gifts when children fail to send thank-you notes.
DEAR ABBY: Whatever you say, I promised my sister I'd do.
My boyfriend, "Chuck," has been married three times and has children from all three marriages. Chuck told me he had married young the first time and just made "bad" choices the other two times.
Before I get in any deeper with Chuck, my sister suggested I call his ex-wives and get their side of the story. She also heard that he'd been engaged before. My sister says Chuck is bad news. I believe he is just the romantic type who jumped into these marriages after whirlwind romances with what turned out to be crazy women. What do you think? -- BEING CAREFUL
DEAR BEING CAREFUL: Listen to your sister and chuck Chuck. Her advice is right on target.
To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)