For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Peace Corps Volunteers Do Lots of Giving, Little Getting
DEAR ABBY: A heartfelt thanks for mentioning the Peace Corps volunteers in your New Year's Day blessings. This is something I have never heard before, and I was in the first Peace Corps group in Honduras in 1962.
Those of my peers who are trained to go to other nations and subjugate or kill the inhabitants there are offered many inducements or rewards, such as government assistance in schooling, home loans, health insurance and care, Veterans Administration hospitals and point preference on tests for government jobs.
I have no problem with this. However, to my knowledge, none of these rewards are offered to returning Peace Corps volunteers, those of us who were trained to understand and love the people of other lands and to offer them our friendship.
In a Christian country that supposedly espouses love for all mankind, what kind of statement does this make about our true attitude toward others? -- KENT D. MYRICK, PHOENIX
DEAR KENT MYRICK: It's shameful. A brief history of the Peace Corps:
In January 1960, Sen. Richard L. Neuberger of Oregon and Congressman Henry S. Reuss of Wisconsin asked Congress to study the possibilities of a youth corps program. Later that year, Sen. Hubert H. Humphrey of Minnesota proposed that Congress create a Peace Corps.
Sen. John F. Kennedy of Massachusetts used the proposal for a Peace Corps in his 1960 presidential election campaign. He declared, "There is not enough money in all America to relieve the misery of the underdeveloped world in a giant and endless soup kitchen, but there is enough know-how and knowledgeable people to help those nations to help themselves."
Kennedy was elected president in November 1960. He established the Peace Corps in March 1961. The first volunteers started training at Rutgers University in New Brunswick, N.J. Sargent Shriver (Kennedy's brother-in-law) was the first director.
More than 80,000 Americans have served as Peace Corps volunteers.
DEAR ABBY: The letter from "Lost in Kansas City, Kan." -- the person with no sense of direction -- really hit home with me. The phrase "directional dyslexia" is a great way to describe someone who suffers from this problem.
I have had it for as long as I can remember. I'm a schoolteacher, and my friends make fun of me, saying things like, "I can't believe you went to college." They don't realize that lacking a sense of direction has nothing to do with intelligence or education.
It is frightening to have no idea which direction is correct. I have gone to the same mall for 20 years and still can't pinpoint where a particular department store is. I can drive the same route many times and never know whether to turn left or right.
My solution is to always have my cellular phone with me. It has come in handy many times. I have one very understanding friend I call. She stays on the line and gives me directions until I arrive at my destination.
Please, Abby, urge your readers to have a little compassion for those of us with no sense of direction. -- NO LAUGHING MATTER, FORT LAUDERDALE
DEAR NO LAUGHING MATTER: Your suggestion to carry a cellular phone so you can get directions is a good one. If your Good Samaritan's line is busy, you could also call the business you're trying to find. Some enterprising salesperson may be willing to guide you to your destination. Also, a compass for your dashboard may be helpful.
WIDOW REMEMBERS HUSBAND BY SHARING HIS LOVE OF HORSES
DEAR ABBY: I found this "Horse's Prayer" in my late husband's desk in 1991, the year he died. He loved horses and took very good care of them.
My husband was a farmer and a dedicated man who took pride in his work. He unloaded horses and cattle for the Southern Pacific Co. for 25 years. -- CATHERINE E. LANFRANCO, FRESNO, CALIF.
DEAR CATHERINE: Thank you for sharing it. I know many of my readers who love horses will relate to it.
A HORSE'S PRAYER
Feed me, water me and care for me. And when my day's work is done, provide me with shelter, a clean, dry bed, and a stall wide enough for me to lie down in comfort.
Talk to me. Your voice often means as much to me as the reins.
Pet me sometimes, that I may serve you the more gladly and learn to love you.
Do not jerk the reins and do not whip me when going uphill.
Never strike, beat or kick me when I do not understand what you mean, but give me a chance to understand.
Watch me, and if I fail to do your bidding, see if something is wrong with my harness or feet. Examine my teeth when I do not eat. I may have an ulcerated tooth that is very painful.
Do not tie my head in an unnatural position, or take away my best defense against flies by cutting off my tail. (I don't take away YOUR mosquito curtains.)
Don't smoke in my barn or leave me tied up overnight and perhaps burn me to death while you are sleeping in your comfortable bed.
And last, my master: When my strength is gone, do not turn me out in a pasture with no shelter and let me freeze to death, or sell me to some cruel owner to be slowly starved or worked to death, but take my life in the kindest way, and your God will reward you -- hereafter. -- AUTHOR UNKNOWN
DEAR ABBY: My mother has plenty of money. In fact, she's obsessed with it. We keep telling her to spend it and enjoy life, but she doesn't listen. It's like money is her god.
The topper came on my daughter's birthday. My mother sent her a card with nothing in it! I never thought she'd be so tight she'd deprive her grandchild. Believe me, $10 wouldn't have hurt her at all.
Since talking to her only makes her angry, if you print this letter, maybe she'll see it, recognize herself and wise up. -- UPSET IN DULUTH
DEAR UPSET: Please keep in mind that no one is obligated to give birthday gifts. Gifts are voluntary. Many grandparents cease giving gifts when children fail to send thank-you notes.
DEAR ABBY: Whatever you say, I promised my sister I'd do.
My boyfriend, "Chuck," has been married three times and has children from all three marriages. Chuck told me he had married young the first time and just made "bad" choices the other two times.
Before I get in any deeper with Chuck, my sister suggested I call his ex-wives and get their side of the story. She also heard that he'd been engaged before. My sister says Chuck is bad news. I believe he is just the romantic type who jumped into these marriages after whirlwind romances with what turned out to be crazy women. What do you think? -- BEING CAREFUL
DEAR BEING CAREFUL: Listen to your sister and chuck Chuck. Her advice is right on target.
To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
DEAR ABBY: In a recent column, a few of your readers shared the effects of their allergies. Unfortunately, an estimated 60 million Americans suffer from some type of allergy, including hay fever, eczema, hives, contact dermatitis, and allergies to foods such as eggs, milk, nuts and seafood.
People with allergies have super-sensitive immune systems that react to seemingly harmless substances. The most common of these include plant pollen, dust mites, cockroaches, stinging insects, animal dander, mold and mildew. Multiple sensitivities are common, and many people with allergies are also sensitive to irritants -- tiny airborne particles that irritate the nose, eyes and lungs. Common irritants include strong fumes from perfume, cleaning fluids, wood smoke and cigarette smoke.
Many people are unaware of the link between allergies and asthma, which is a serious and sometimes life-threatening disease. In approximately 70 percent of the 13 million Americans with asthma, allergy is the primary trigger. The asthma death-rate in the United States is more than 5,000 per year, and growing -- especially in urban communities and among children and the elderly.
Asthma is characterized by an inflammation and/or an obstruction of the airways. Symptoms vary, and may include coughing, wheezing, shortness of breath, chest tightness or excessive mucus. In addition to allergies, asthma can be triggered by respiratory infections, exercise and dry, cold air.
The fact that asthma and allergies are so common causes their impact to be overlooked or trivialized. If you suspect you have asthma or allergies, see a doctor for a proper diagnosis. You can help your doctor by keeping a diary of your symptoms and the circumstances when reactions occurred. Your doctor can conduct tests that may confirm your suspicions. Asthma and allergies can be controlled by eliminating allergens at home, work and school, and by strictly adhering to a medical treatment plan that may include regular medication. -- DAWN MARVIN, ASTHMA AND ALLERGY FOUNDATION OF AMERICA
DEAR DAWN: Thank you for an important letter and for pointing out the seriousness of allergies and asthma. Readers, lest you think that Ms. Marvin is overstating her case, read on for a letter I recently received:
DEAR ABBY: About three months ago, "Barbara," a special friend of mine, went into a coma. A week later, she was declared brain-dead. She died on Nov. 13, 1995.
Many people have asked me if she died in a car accident. The truth is, she had an asthma attack. Yes, asthma! Other than having asthma, Barbara was a healthy 19-year-old woman. Not many people, including myself, realized that asthma is a serious disease.
However, some good came from Barbara's death. All of her organs were donated, so other people were given a chance at life. Consequently, Barbara will live on.
Abby, please tell me where I can get more information on this potentially deadly disease. -- HER GRIEVING FRIEND IN GERMANY
DEAR GRIEVING FRIEND: Your letter will surely be an eye-opener for many of my readers, as it was for me.
To obtain a free packet of information about allergies and asthma, contact the Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America, 1125 15th St. N.W., No. 502, Washington, D.C. 20005, or call the toll-free information line: 1-800-7-ASTHMA (727-8462). (Please allow three to five weeks for delivery.)
What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)