What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
SOME THOUGHT SHOULD GO IN BEFORE ANY TATTOO GOES ON
DEAR ABBY: In response to "Sorry in Maine," the woman who went to a tattoo parlor with a girlfriend and left with a rose about the size of a half-dollar tattooed on her shoulder: She thought it was so cool, she went back a week later and had another rose tattooed on the outside of her ankle.
What a coincidence! I, too, have a rose tattooed on my ankle and I love it. I put a lot of thought into getting a tattoo because I knew it was a permanent decision. Unlike "Sorry in Maine," I have never regretted it.
But I have a word of advice for anyone who wants a tattoo. Circumstances change, so never have someone's name tattooed on any part of your body. -- NEEDLED IN FORT WORTH
DEAR NEEDLED: Sounds like good advice to me -- right to the point. (Sorry, I couldn't resist it.) However, before doing anything irreversible to one's body, one should give it plenty of serious thought.
Read on for a letter in a similar vein:
DEAR ABBY: I never thought I'd be writing to you, but I have seen nothing but negative comments in your column about tattoos on women. I just had to write on my own behalf -- and I'm sure there are many other women who do not regret their tattoos.
Before I got one, I thought long and hard, then asked my husband if he'd mind. He said, "It's your body." So I searched and searched until I found a tattoo artist who did the kind of work I liked. I decided on a 2-by-4-inch tiger in blue, because I'm a cat lover. After it healed, I got a small tattoo of red and blue roses on my forearm.
I suspect the reason many people regret getting tattoos is because they did it on a dare or when they were under the influence.
I took my time, realizing this was something that would be with me forever. I would never have another person's name or initials tattooed on myself.
I was 40 when I got my first tattoo, and have heard only two nasty remarks from men. One was from my father, who thought I was nuts. The other was from a male who does not deserve mention. Someday I plan to get a third tattoo, although I have not yet decided what it will be. -- TATTOO MARY IN OTTUMWA, IOWA
DEAR TATTOO MARY: The majority of those who responded to the letter from "Sorry in Maine" were not in favor of tattoos for anyone; but since you are an adult who made an informed decision, I say good for you.
Some readers mentioned that a temporary tattoo is also available, lasts through showering and swimming, and can be removed with a special cream. (It's an excellent way for people to satisfy their curiosity with no permanent consequences.)
Some employers revealed that "a good overall appearance" tops their list of expectations for potential employees, and they would be less likely to hire people with visible tattoos. While acknowledging that their bias may be unfair, they associated a lower level of performance with people wearing tattoos.
Mother Shies From Allowing Son to Visit House With Guns
DEAR ABBY: At 4 years old, my son John is getting to the age where he's occasionally invited to the homes of his schoolmates.
Last week, a parent I'll call "Mr. Smith" invited John to spend the afternoon at his home playing with his son. John had a great time, but when I picked him up, he described deer heads on the wall -- and to my horror, the guns in the house!
Obviously, Mr. Smith is a hunter and there's no doubt that the guns John described were real.
I have decided not to let John go back, but I feel awkward bringing this up with the Smiths. I don't want to appear rude, since both parents are very much involved with the preschool our children attend.
Abby, I don't ever want my children in a home with guns, but how should I handle this without offending the parents? -- CONCERNED MOM
DEAR CONCERNED: Your child's welfare must come first. Be up-front about it when an invitation is again extended. Tell the Smiths that your son mentioned the guns in their home, and you prefer that when the children play together, they do it in your home under your supervision.
DEAR ABBY: The letter from Jose Fidelino interested me. My wife was born in Laos. Her mother came from China and her father from Vietnam. She also lived in Thailand for several years, so she speaks many languages.
Since we now live in Long Beach, Calif., we're 20 minutes from Chinatown, 20 minutes from Little Saigon and five minutes from Little India. We have two children, and when we are all together, we get lots of stares. When my wife takes the children without me, she is asked lots of questions from strangers wanting to know where she got them (as if she had stolen them), but she takes it as a compliment and moves on.
As for people asking, "Where are you from?" I hear that often, but I do not take it as an insult. In the case of Asians, they are asking, "May I talk to you?" It is simply a sign that they are interested in you and are groping for a starting point.
I have started many conversations with, "Where are you from?" And I found out that the best cakes are from a Filipino bakery in Little India; the best soup is at a Cambodian restaurant in Little Saigon; the best dim-cha is in Chinatown. Also there is a beautiful Chinese temple in Hacienda Heights.
Americans are slowly opening their eyes to the Pacific Rim. While many people are unfamiliar with Asian history beyond the war stories, that is not to say we can't learn. Just give us time. -- KENNETH SPICER, LONG BEACH, CALIF.
DEAR ABBY: I am amazed at the number of credit card receipts drivers leave behind after using their bank cards at gas pumps. This is very risky business because the account number is on the receipt.
Abby, please warn your readers either to take their receipts with them, or to press the "no" button when the computer asks if they want a receipt so that it won't print one. -- CAREFUL ABOUT MY CARDS
DEAR CAREFUL: Thanks for the warning. People should also take their receipts with them after using ATMs (Automated Teller Machines), and destroy them before disposing of them.
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
BROKEN-RECORD PROTEST BRINGS SAME RESPONSE OVER AND OVER
DEAR ABBY: "Dorothy in Long Beach, Calif." asked you to stop referring to repetition as a "broken record," and added, "You'll never hear anything from a broken record because it is broken." She said, "Please say well-worn or scratchy instead," and asked you to sign her letter, "A Retired Public School Music Teacher."
You thanked her for writing and said you'd try to change your tune. Abby, I'm a collector of old phonograph records, and I wonder if either one of you knows the origin of "a broken record."
It goes back to the days before tapes and CDs replaced old-fashioned phonograph records, which were made of shellac or plastic and easily broken or damaged. Those records rotated at 78, 45 or 33 1/3 revolutions per minute. Some, especially the hard shellac ones, would crack or break -- sometimes on only one side of the surface.
When the needle hit the damaged spot, it would jump backward into a preceding groove, and replay until it hit the same spot again and jumped backward again, etc. In other words, it caused pure monotonous repetition of the same words and music.
A well-worn or scratchy record does not connote the same thing a broken record does. -- ROLAND GUERIN, HARVEY, LA.
DEAR ROLAND: Thanks for your supportive letter. Now I'm sorry I didn't respond to "Retired Music Teacher," "You're mistaken, you're mistaken, you're mistaken."
You're not the only reader who commented on that letter. Others also want to go on record:
DEAR ABBY: The somewhat caustic note from "Dorothy in Long Beach, Calif.," regarding a "broken record," speaks more of her intolerance and rigid thinking than of the facts.
As you know, a broken record in our generation meant that a groove in the record was "broken," and each revolution caused a duplicate sound over and over (so go ahead and use that idiom if you please).
I frequently use figures of speech from my past that cause my children's and grandchildren's eyes to glaze over as they wonder what in the world I mean; e.g. "Cheese it -- the cops!" or "You're not just whistlin' Dixie."
They do not need to adopt them, but neither do they have a right to chastise me for doing so. -- ROBERT E. SMITH, LITTLETON, COLO.
DEAR ABBY: This is in response to Kiki's mom, who gave her 2-year-old daughter the car keys, which the child promptly inserted into an electric socket.
The mother admonished herself for being "stupid" for having given her daughter the keys, but not for leaving the sockets exposed!
All electrical outlets should be covered with outlet protectors.
This was your chance to educate people as to the danger of leaving electrical outlets exposed. You blew it, Abby. -- ANN FOSS, EDEN PRAIRIE, MINN.
DEAR ANN: You're right. Parents of small children should visit their local hardware store to learn the options available for childproofing the electrical outlets in their home.
To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)