DEAR ABBY: I disagree with your advice that "Fed Up in Milwaukee" (the woman who received only three responses to 45 invitations) should call everyone she invited and ask whether or not they plan to attend.
Abby, why is it her responsibility to track down all those ill-mannered people who are too lazy to pick up the phone?
I have a suggestion for "Fed Up": Call the three people who did respond and cancel the party, with apologies. Then plan something nice for you and your husband for that date: a play, a special dinner, anything so you are not at home that evening. Wait for the surprised reactions of those who didn't respond but showed up at your house expecting a party.
I did this once. After that, those who were invited to my home and wanted to come let me know in advance, just as my invitation requested. -- SENIOR IN SAN CLEMENTE, CALIF.
DEAR SENIOR: Although not everyone would be comfortable following your suggestion, it shows creativity plus a healthy dose of "chutzpah," and teaches a valuable lesson.