DEAR ABBY: Your answer to "Frustrated Homeowner," who was upset because his neighbors parked in front of his house, was good up to a point. But what if you got a response like this: "You don't own the street. I need the space in front of my house in case company comes," plus a few choice remarks about your ancestors?
In my case, my neighbor's mother would drive up almost every Saturday morning and park in front of my house, and her car would just sit there until she left Sunday night. The curb in front of my neighbor's house was always empty.
Well, I had phone messages from friends who said, "We drove by Sunday afternoon, but didn't stop because you had company," etc. So one day I went over to my neighbor and asked him if his mother could please park in front of his house. Well, I got a tongue-lashing I'll never forget and went home with my tail between my legs.
The next weekend I brought the company pickup truck home and parked it so that my neighbor's mother would have plenty of room for her car. On Sunday afternoon I pulled the family station wagon out of the garage and parked it up close to the back bumper of her car. Next I backed the pickup close to "Mom's" front bumper and locked both vehicles up tight. Then I went inside to watch television.
About 8 p.m., my doorbell rang. It was my neighbor asking me to move one of the vehicles so that his mom could get out.
"Sure thing," I replied. "I'll be right out just as soon as I get my shoes on." Then I went back to my chair and continued to watch my TV show. Half an hour later, the doorbell rings and it's my irate neighbor wanting to know, "How long does it take to put on your damn shoes?"
Well, after an hour and a half, I moved my pickup, and Mom shot out of there and burned rubber for half a block. I gathered that she was a little upset with me, but she never parked in front of my place again. -- VINCE WOGMAN, CHEHALIS, WASH.