Abby shares more of her favorite, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, More Favorite Recipes, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Candidates of Conviction Should Vote for Themselves
DEAR READERS: I recently printed a letter from a woman who was having a heated discussion with her husband about whether a person should vote for him (or her) self. I responded in part: "I'd be interested in hearing from those who have run for public office and how they cast their ballots." Yesterday, I printed letters from candidates who did NOT vote for themselves. Today we'll hear from some who DID:
DEAR ABBY: During a political campaign, a candidate spends a great deal of time and effort working to convince voters that he or she is the best person seeking that office. By election day, the winning candidate will earn the confidence of the electorate only if he first has the courage of his convictions. To vote for one's opponent would be, in a sense, a breach of faith with the candidate's constituents.
I have had the honor of representing part of Fairfax County in the Virginia House of Delegates for three terms. Every time I enter the voting booth and see my name listed as a candidate, I am humbled by the experience. However, I am confident in my ability to serve, and always vote accordingly. -- JAY O'BRIEN, R-FAIRFAX COUNTY
DEAR ABBY: Of course I voted for myself! How could I tell voters I'm their best choice and then vote for someone else? It wouldn't say much for my integrity. -- ALEX MUNTER, MEMBER, OTTAWA-CARLETON REGIONAL COUNCIL, ONTARIO, CANADA
DEAR ABBY: I have run for public office 10 times and have been fortunate to win each time. I would have trouble voting for my opponent when I really felt I was best suited for the position. You can sign me ... H.D.P., KANSAS
DEAR ABBY: The letter from the woman who believed candidates would not vote for themselves out of "humility and old-fashioned manners" struck me as humorous for two reasons: First, in evaluating the current political landscape, from all appearances it seems that humility and old-fashioned manners are nowhere to be found.
The second and more compelling reason comes from my experience in a November 1992 local election. Although I currently serve as vice mayor of my community, in that election I lost my initial bid for office by only one vote out of over 11,000 cast. I can only imagine how I might have felt if I had lost the election and NOT voted for myself!
Of course politicians vote for themselves, and why shouldn't they? If they are trying to convince the electorate that they are the best candidate, then they must believe it also. A vote is too precious to waste frivolously. I know. -- L. STEPHEN GIZZI, VICE MAYOR, BENICIA, CALIF.
DEAR ABBY: In 1949, I ran for county supervisor in Sangamon County, Ill. I campaigned vigorously, calling on hundreds of voters, as I was aware that my opponent, a socially prominent lady of wealth, had held the office for many years and would be hard to beat.
On election day, my common Midwestern horse sense overcame my chivalry, and I voted for myself.
Next morning the Springfield newspapers carried the startling news that I had won by a margin of a single vote -- 6,334 to her 6,333. -- BOB GUYMON, SACRAMENTO, CALIF.
HUMBLE CANDIDATES LOSE, SAY THOSE WHO KNOW FIRSTHAND
DEAR READERS: A short time ago, I printed a letter from a man and his wife who were in a heated discussion about whether a person should vote for him (or her) self. In my reply, I said: "I can't imagine anyone who is running for public office voting for the opposition. I'd be interested in hearing from those who have run for public office and how they cast their ballots."
The stack of responses was quite surprising! Read on:
DEAR MISS VAN BUREN: Speaking of candidates who do not vote for themselves, I am sending you this true story: In 1840, my great-great-great uncle, John Janney, was chairman of the Whig Party Convention in Virginia. This convention nominated William Henry Harrison for president. Uncle John and John Tyler were the nominees for the vice presidency. When the vote of the convention was a tie, Uncle John as chairman did the honorable thing and voted for John Tyler. Harrison won the election and died soon after, and John Tyler became president. Our family says that Uncle John lost the presidency by one vote -- his own!
Since Uncle John's sister Anna Janney Miller had 11 children and 53 grandchildren, there are many of us great-great-great nieces and nephews in the United States. I wonder how many of them will write you this story. -- HELEN JANNEY STABLER GRINSTEAD
DEAR MRS. GRINSTEAD: You are the only one I've heard from.
DEAR ABBY: I was a naive seventh-grader when I learned the bald facts. There were 12 girls competing for drum majorette in the baton corps, and we were to vote for which one of us would be majorette. The girl I voted for got two votes, each of the other 10 got one vote apiece, and I got none! -- MONTE PRUDE, MIDLAND, TEXAS
DEAR ABBY: I ran for president of my student council. As it turned out, I ended up losing to my opponent by one vote. Sign me ... LOST BECAUSE OF MY OWN MANNERS
DEAR ABBY: More than 40 years ago, as a young wife in a new community where wives and mothers created a monthly coffee group to get acquainted and share ideas, my name was nominated for an office. I will never forget that I lost by one vote. I had not voted for myself out of humility and old-fashioned manners. When I told my husband what I had done, he could not believe I lacked the faith in myself that he believed was indicated by my vote.
I'd rather you did not use my name. Instead, call me ... DEE IN SEAL BEACH, CALIF.
DEAR ABBY: I, too, was taught to be humble and have old-fashioned manners, and that to vote for oneself was a real no-no.
Thus said, in high school, I lost an election by one vote: my own.
Ergo, one can still be humble and polite, but if you believe in a cause enough to put yourself on the line to run for it, you'd better believe in it enough to vote for it. If you don't vote for yourself, you lose. -- MAIZIE HARRIS JESSE, CARSON CITY, NEV.
DEAR READERS: Tomorrow, some interesting comments from candidates who did vote for themselves.
For Abby's favorite family recipes, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet No. 1, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
HOLIDAYS INSPIRE DIVORCED MOM TO RESOLVE HER BITTER FEELINGS
DEAR ABBY: I have something to say to the millions of families whose lives are affected by divorce.
An unforgiving and bitter person who has not let go of animosities can poison an entire family and ruin the holidays for everyone. I know. I was that person.
I couldn't forgive my husband and his new wife, and my children suffered for it. One day after a particularly harsh outburst, I understood the pained reaction on my children's faces. I prayed for the strength to change my ways so I could stop hurting those I love most in the world.
It has been a long struggle with occasional setbacks, but the rewards have carried me forward. I have not remarried and I am not completely healed, but I have peace in my heart and my children are happy. They are free to enjoy both homes and the holidays with each family. It is a priceless gift to give your children, and yourself. -- FREE IN VERMONT
DEAR FREE: I can't think of a more meaningful gift suggestion for this holiday season. Happy holidays to you and your now happier family.
DEAR ABBY: I am writing in response to "Longtime Reader, Bloomington, Minn." who was upset that "Mrs. Jones" asked her nanny if she wanted another part-time job. Your reader had no right to get upset about the nanny being offered another job. As long as it doesn't affect her 35-hour work week, anything the nanny does during her free time is her business -- not her employer's.
Mrs. Jones should not need anyone's permission to talk to the nanny. So what if "Longtime Reader" paid $1,200 to get her nanny? I am a nanny and my family paid $2,350 to get me, and they do not tell me who I can and cannot sit for. Paying a fee does not guarantee ownership of the nanny. The nanny may seem like a member of their extended family, but she really isn't. She is an employee and is entitled to her own life and her own decisions about her time off. -- LYNETTE A. BUDD, ROWLEY, MASS.
DEAR LYNETTE: I agree that the days of indentured servitude are over. And if the nanny's arrangement with her employer is for 35 hours a week, what she does in her spare time is her own business.
However, as a courtesy, Mrs. Jones should have spoken to "Longtime Reader" before extending an offer to her domestic employee. It is a question of good manners.
DEAR ABBY: Add this to your stories about short men: My best friend had a rather rocky marriage with many arguments. After one such episode she came over for coffee and a shoulder to cry on. During our conversation she said, "Your husband is more of a man at 5 foot 6 than mine is at 6 foot 5."
She was right. They later divorced, and she raised their four children on her own. -- ANONYMOUS, PLEASE
YOUR CHUCKLE FOR THE DAY: "Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight." -- PHYLLIS DILLER
To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)