DEAR ABBY: I have planned my last party. Out of 45 invitations mailed out, we had three RSVPs! The invitations clearly stated a date by which we needed a response, and still only a tiny percentage complied.
My husband and I would not have been as upset if those 42 people had called with their regrets. But sitting around and wondering how many, if any, people are going to show up is nerve-wracking. I had no idea how many people to prepare for, or whether we needed to rent tables, chairs, etc.
The same thing happened with our wedding invitations. They included a response card and a self-addressed, stamped envelope (all they had to do was indicate whether they were coming or not, and put it in the mail), but many people never responded to the invitation. Some showed up without letting me know they were coming, and others failed to show when they said they would.
Has something changed? Why do people think it's OK not to respond to an invitation when specifically asked to do so? -- FED UP IN MILWAUKEE
DEAR FED UP: Nothing has changed. "R.S.V.P." stands for "repondez s'il vous plait," and translates to "please respond." To ignore an invitation, and neither accept it nor politely refuse, is inexcusable. It takes only a moment to make a call or return a written reply. However, if people haven't responded in a reasonable period of time, I see nothing wrong with calling them and asking if their decision is "yea" or "nay." As a host or hostess, you need to know how many guests to prepare for.