To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
DEAR ABBY: Will you please answer this question: What happens to someone who does not file an income tax return?
I say the consequences are serious, but my friend Katie doesn't think so. A dinner rests on your answer. -- DOROTHY MACKENZIE, MONTEREY, CALIF.
DEAR DOROTHY: Katie owes you a dinner. I called Mary E. McGuire, EA, president of the National Association of Enrolled Agents (tax experts), who explained:
"When the IRS determines that someone has failed to file a tax return, that person is sent a reminder to file one. If the request is ignored, the IRS will take the information they have and prepare a Substitute for Return (SFR).
"The taxpayer is then billed for the amount shown on the SFR, plus interest and penalties dating from the time the return should have been filed. These penalties and interest accumulate until the tax debt is paid.
"If the bill is ignored, the delinquent taxpayer's salary will be garnisheed and a lien will be placed on his or her property.
"If it's proven that the individual is unable to pay the tax, the IRS may mark the case 'uncollectible.' However, should the IRS learn that the taxpayer has become able to pay the delinquent taxes, they'll be back on your doorstep again.
"Although a few people have been sent to jail for failure to pay, the IRS usually tries to work with taxpayers to resolve the problem."
My advice to people who may be tempted to ignore their tax returns: Resist the temptation and pay the tax when it is due. If you can't pay it all in one lump sum, in most cases the IRS will set up a schedule of payments to help you.
DEAR ABBY: Hey! This is a little sister in Virginia Beach. I am 13 years old and I totally agree with the teen driving contract you printed.
I know how my sister drives when our mom is not in the car, so I'm glad Mom read the contract and made my sister sign it.
I just wanted to say thanks. -- LITTLE SISTER
DEAR LITTLE SISTER: How nice of you to let me know. It is gratifying that people of all ages appreciate the importance of the teen driving contract.
DEAR ABBY: In a recent column, a reader objected to the perfumed ads in magazines. I sympathize with her, especially in view of her allergies. Abby, I am sure she is a nice lady with high ethical standards. However, she was out of line to assume that anything that was perfumed came from (or belonged to) a "house of ill repute."
This reminds me of the two gentlemen in adjacent chairs in a barbershop. As the barber started to sprinkle something on the hair of one of the men, he stopped the barber, saying, "Don't put any of that stuff on me -- my wife will think I've been in a parlor of horizontal entertainment!"
The man in the chair next to him said to the barber, "Well, you can sprinkle some on me. My wife has never been in one of those places." -- ARTHUR H. LASSERS, LARGO, FLA.
U.S. SENATOR WORKS TO RAISE AWARENESS OF ORGAN DONATION
DEAR ABBY: Your recent letters concerning the need for organ and tissue donation caught my attention, and I want to take the opportunity to add my voice to those of your other readers. As a former heart and lung transplant surgeon, I witnessed the suffering of my patients firsthand. One in four patients died while waiting for a new heart or lung. As a U.S. senator, I am continuing my efforts to encourage the "gift of life" for nearly 50,000 Americans who await a lifesaving transplant.
As co-chair of the Congressional Task Force on Organ and Tissue Donation, I have had the privilege of working with my colleagues to sponsor both legislation and a number of public awareness initiatives. The response in the Senate has been overwhelming, and more than half of the senators have contacted my office to let me know that they have signed up as organ and tissue donors.
All of our efforts, such as my Gift of Life Congressional Medal Act of 1996, are designed to focus attention on the need for donations at the local level. We in Congress encourage you and your readers to talk to your friends, and most important, your families about your willingness to donate organs and tissue.
If any of your readers have any questions or concerns about organ tissue donation, I would be pleased to hear from them, and help in any way I can. My address is: Sen. Bill Frist, U.S. Senate, Washington, D.C. 20510, or if your readers wish to contact me via their computer networks, my address is: www.senate.gov/~frist/donor.html.
Thank you again, Abby, for all you've done for those needing a lifesaving transplant. -- BILL FRIST, M.D., U.S. SENATOR FROM TENNESSEE
DEAR SEN. FRIST: Thank YOU. And we should all thank the good Lord and medical science that transplants are available to many of those who need them.
READERS: Please search your hearts and add your names to the lists of those who wish to give the "gift of life" so that everyone who needs a transplant will receive one.
DEAR ABBY: Your advising "Undecided" to buy a new home when she married a widower was right on! My husband's first marriage ended painfully because his wife, "Betty," was an alcoholic who passed away from her disease two years before we married.
"Al" had considerable equity built up in the house, and I did not have a home of my own, so when we decided to marry, we agreed that staying in his home would be most economical. Al told me that the house held no special memories and that I had free reign to decorate or change it any way I liked.
As the first few months of our marriage passed, I started finding evidence of damage to the house due to Betty's alcoholism. Abby, in our case, walls could talk -- the dents and scratches on the walls brought back painful memories for Al. Then old friends and neighbors began sharing stories of visits in the home while Betty was alive. This made me very uncomfortable. I discussed my feelings with Al, after which we immediately started house hunting.
We have been in our new house for three years, and we couldn't be happier. We left all the old emotional baggage in the other house and are now making new memories in our home. The extra money spent on a new home is insignificant compared to the heartache of trying to exorcise old demons. -- DELIGHTED IN HELENA, MONT.
DEAR DELIGHTED: The Biblical advice not to put new wine into old bottles lest they break (Matthew 9:17) was sage advice. Your happiness is evidence of the wisdom in this. New beginnings have a much better chance without old injuries muddying up the waters.
For Abby's favorite family recipes, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet No. 1, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
HUSBAND IS USELESS MESSENGER FOR NEWS OF FAMILY ACTIVITIES
DEAR ABBY: I have a problem with my mother-in-law. She does not communicate directly with me about family activities. Everything goes through my husband, who often does not tell me right away. He doesn't remember details, and sometimes he forgets completely.
There have been many times I have found out about something at the last minute. Once there was a family get-together, and when I arrived I found out that during this gathering the women had planned to give a baby shower for one of my husband's sisters. I was the only woman without a gift.
There have been countless other miscommunications and mishaps because of this. I've expressed my feelings to my husband and to my mother-in-law, to no avail. She continues to notify only my husband.
I have married brothers and I always discuss social plans with their wives, because my brothers are just like my husband.
This has been going on for many years, and I find myself resenting my mother-in-law more and more. Maybe if you print this, she will see it.
What can I do to change the situation? -- MOTHER-IN-LAW PROBLEMS
DEAR MOTHER-IN-LAW PROBLEMS: Since your mother-in-law ignores your requests, bypass her and develop a better level of communication with your sisters-in-law. Ask them to keep you posted so you have a chance to make appropriate preparations for upcoming events.
DEAR ABBY: This is in response to "Living a Lie," who couldn't decide if he should tell his girlfriend that he had decided to acknowledge his homosexuality or let her believe that he had decided to behave in a straight manner so that they could get married and have a family.
As a gay divorced father who has been there, I strongly advise him not to get married just so he can have the house, kids, station wagon and the family dog. (She would end up getting them all when they divorce later on, and he would still be without what he wants.) I, too, wanted all these things and got them, but I was not happy.
The things he mentioned will not bring him happiness if he is not in a relationship that is physically and emotionally satisfying. I found true happiness only after accepting who I am and started living the life that I was ordained to live. He should be honest with her and tell her he wants to continue to have her as his best friend, but he also wants to be true to his nature and find a gay man with whom he can share his life.
Being gay does not mean that he can't have what he wants. Many gay couples have the house, station wagon and the family dog, and some even have children. Happiness can be found only by being true to yourself and those whom you love. -- GAY AND HAPPY
DEAR ABBY: We are thrilled that you printed information on our National Eye Care Project. After your column appeared, we received more than 3,500 calls to our helpline for information, and referred the majority of callers to volunteer ophthalmologists for eye examinations.
If you stop to think that for even 1 percent of these callers our program may mean the difference between sight and premature blindness, you'll share our excitement. But in fact, many more needy seniors have their vision saved.
Again, thank you so much. Your work can really make the connection between a problem and a solution for vast numbers of people. -- B. THOMAS HUTCHINSON, M.D., CHAIRMAN, NATIONAL EYE CARE PROJECT, SAN FRANCISCO
For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)