DEAR ABBY: My younger brother "Mike" and I are partners in a small manufacturing business. The problem is my brother's explosive temper.
When an employee makes a mistake, Mike literally throws a tantrum, kicking things and cursing at the top of his lungs. This is never done in private. He screams and criticizes the employee in front of anybody who will listen. Since he is "the boss," the employees just take it and silently curse him back. This makes for a miserable work atmosphere.
I have repeatedly told Mike that his tantrums make him look foolish, and his employees should not have to put up with his tirades. He apologizes, then loses his temper all over again.
Unfortunately, I can't fire him or punch him in the nose (which is what he needs!). I don't think he realizes that his behavior is cruel and insulting. How can I get through to him? -- BOTHERED BROTHER
DEAR BROTHER: Your brother's inability to control his explosive temper is unfortunate. His outbursts may have little or nothing to do with the situation that appears to trigger his tantrums.
Anger expressed inappropriately can have devastating effects. As I explain in my booklet "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It," counseling helps people learn how to express their anger appropriately. Support groups also may help. For a referral, contact your local mental health agency. You will find it in the Yellow Pages under "Counseling" or "Mental Health Services."
DEAR ABBY: I am writing on behalf of families who have lost a loved one, or have a family member who is seriously ill. Preparing food for the grieving family is one of the ways to show love and concern. However, I would like to suggest that the food be sent in disposable containers.
The last thing families need to worry about is which dish, platter or bowl belongs to whom, or how to return it to the rightful owner.
Many disposable containers are available at minimum expense. Another suggestion would be to shop garage sales for "odds and ends" plates and casserole dishes that are attractive -- but not something that would need to be returned. During difficult times, our efforts should be to make life as easy and uncomplicated as possible. -- DISCREET IN LOUISIANA
DEAR DISCREET: The last time I endorsed disposable dishes the environmentalists disapproved in droves. However, your second suggestion is a very good one if you have the time and money to shop the yard sales. If not, an address label attached to the bottom of the container should ensure its return.
DEAR ABBY: Several weeks ago you printed a letter from a retired police detective. He wrote regarding the woman whose husband insisted on sleeping with their bedroom window open. Has neither of them ever heard of drilling holes in the frames of the upper and lower sections of the window, with the lower window raised approximately 3 to 4 inches, then inserting a long nail or a bolt through the holes?
The windows are then locked in an open position too small for an intruder to gain entry, but with enough space for ventilation.
For many of us who live in areas of the country where air conditioning is necessary only a few days a year, this has been a practical and safe solution. -- A READER FROM THE NORTHWEST
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600