For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Face New Year With Resolve and Make Each Day a Victory
DEAR READERS: My New Year's column has become an annual tradition. These New Year's resolutions are based on the original credo of Al-Anon. I am using its theme with some variations of my own:
Just for today, I will live through this day only, and not set far-reaching goals to try to overcome all my problems at once. I know I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I thought I had to keep it up for a lifetime.
Just for today, I will be happy. Abraham Lincoln said, "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." He was right. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. I will chase them out of my mind and replace them with happy thoughts.
Just for today, I will adjust myself to what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things that I can correct and accept those that I cannot.
Just for today, I will improve my mind. I will not be a mental loafer. I will force myself to read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.
Just for today, I will do something positive to improve my health. If I'm a smoker, I'll make an honest effort to quit. If I'm overweight, I'll eat nothing I know to be fattening. And I will force myself to exercise -- even if it's only walking around the block or using the stairs instead of the elevator.
Just for today, I'll do something I've been putting off for a long time. I'll finally write that letter, make that phone call, clean that closet or straighten out those dresser drawers.
Just for today, before I speak I will ask myself, "Is it true? Is it kind?" and, if the answer to either of those questions is negative, I won't say it.
Just for today, I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable. I will look as good as I can, dress becomingly, talk softly, act courteously, and not interrupt when someone else is talking. Just for today, I'll not try to improve anybody except myself.
We know so much more about nutrition and how exercise and sensible living can extend life and make it more enjoyable, so just for today, I'll take good care of my body so I can celebrate many more happy new years.
Just for today, I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it, thereby saving myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.
Just for today, I will gather the courage to do what is right and take the responsibility for my own actions.
To one and all: a happy, healthy New Year! -- LOVE, ABBY
P.S. God bless our men and women in uniform in every corner of the world where our flag is flying. And let us not forget those patriotic Americans who are serving their country in the Peace Corps, as well as those who have served and are now in veterans hospitals and nursing homes.
THOUGHT FOR THE NEW YEAR: "Anticipate charity by preventing poverty; assist the reduced fellowman, either by a considerable gift, or a sum of money, or by teaching him a trade, or by putting him in the way of business, so that he may earn an honest livelihood, and not be forced to the dreadful alternative of holding out his hand for charity.
"This is the highest step and the summit of charity's golden ladder." -- MAIMONIDES
Small Successes Bring Major Victories Well Within Reach
DEAR READERS: My New Year's column has become an annual tradition since 1973. These New Year's resolutions are based on the original credo of Alcoholics Anonymous. I have taken the liberty of using that theme with some variations of my own:
Just for today I will live through this day only, and not set far-reaching goals to try to overcome all my problems at once. I know I can do something for 24 hours that would appall me if I felt I had to keep it up for a lifetime.
Just for today I will be happy. Abraham Lincoln said, "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." He was right. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. I will chase them out of my mind and replace them with happy thoughts.
Just for today I will adjust myself to what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things that I can correct and accept those things I cannot correct.
Just for today I will improve my mind. I will not be a mental loafer. I will force myself to read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.
Just for today I will do something positive to improve my health. If I'm a smoker, I'll make an honest effort to quit. If I'm overweight, I'll eat nothing I know to be fattening. And I will force myself to exercise -- even if it's only walking around the block or using the stairs instead of the elevator.
Just for today I'll do something I've been putting off for a long time. I'll finally write that letter, make that phone call, clean that closet or straighten out those dresser drawers.
Just for today, before I speak I will ask myself, "Is it true? Is it kind?" and if the answer to either of those questions is negative, I won't say it.
Just for today I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable. I will look as good as I can, dress becomingly, talk softly, act courteously and not interrupt when someone else is talking. Just for today I'll not improve anybody except myself.
Just for today I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it, thereby saving myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.
Just for today I will gather the courage to do what is right and take the responsibility for my own actions.
To one and all: Have a happy, healthy new year. And to ensure a happy new year for everyone else, if you're driving, don't drink, and if you're drinking, don't drive. Have a designated driver or take a cab. -- LOVE, ABBY
P.S. God bless our men and women in uniform in every corner of the world where our flag is flying. And let us not forget those patriotic Americans who are serving their country in the Peace Corps, as well as those who have served and are now in veterans' hospitals and nursing homes.
Most teen-agers do not know the facts about drugs, AIDS, and how to prevent unwanted pregnancy. It's all in Abby's updated, expanded booklet, "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
MEMORIES OF ANNIVERSARY TRIP CLOUDED BY FEELINGS OF GUILT
DEAR ABBY: Six years ago, my husband and I went to the Netherlands to celebrate our 35th wedding anniversary. We had planned and saved for the trip for many years. Another married couple, our best friends, were going with us. My mother had had several operations for cancer, but her doctor said she could live another six months to a year.
You can probably guess what happened. We went off on this trip, and the second week of our holiday I got a call from my brother telling me that Mom was in the hospital, but he didn't think I should cut my trip short and come home. I did not go home, but my mother took a sudden turn for the worse and died the next day. We had taken a weekend side trip and missed the telephone message giving us the news, so I missed my mother's funeral.
A day has not gone by that I haven't wept bitter tears and asked God to forgive me. My mother had sacrificed so much for me, and I wasn't even there to pay my last respects.
Just writing this has helped, but I still feel guilty. Maybe this will help others. Have you any words of comfort for me? -- SORRY AND SAD
DEAR SORRY: This "serenity prayer" has helped many who have tormented themselves with recrimination about something they have or have not done. It's the prayer for Alcoholics Anonymous. I hope you will commit it to memory, and use it often:
God grant me the serenity to accept
the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
DEAR ABBY: When my dog "Robert" died, I received an unusual memorial from a friend. It was such a good idea, I want to pass it along. A donation was sent in Robert's memory to the Companion Animal Fund of the College of Veterinary Medicine, Iowa State University. The purpose of the fund is to support pet health research, and to purchase critically needed surgical and diagnostic equipment. Other colleges of veterinary medicine must have similar funds.
I also received memorials to the local humane society -- a good idea, too. -- ROBY KESLER, CEDAR RAPIDS, IOWA
DEAR ROBY KESLER: In a sense, donations of this kind return to pets some of the physical and emotional benefits they so generously bestow upon all of us. How rewarding to know that research in your pet's name will not only help to perpetuate his memory, but possibly lengthen the lives of other pets as well.
DEAR ABBY: I read your "chuckle for today" in which you mentioned my late husband, George Jessel. Thank you.
My "chuckle" for a lot of days: I once wrote a short column for a small monthly newsletter in San Jose, Calif. I mentioned to George that maybe one day I might be famous, too. His only comment: "Honey, your only claim to fame is that you are younger than Shirley Temple."
Honest. I did love him. -- MRS. GEORGE JESSEL, PACIFICA, CALIF.
Hot off the press -- Abby's new booklet, "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)