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by Abigail Van Buren

Single Mom Fears Having a Child She Doesn't Want

DEAR ABBY: I am the mother of a 7-month-old daughter, and another child is due in December. My husband and I were married last January and now we are being divorced. I'll be 21 in October, and I am terrified of being a single mother with two children, not to mention the fact that my husband has paid only $50 in child support. Clothes, food and diapers cost a lot of money.

Abby, this second child was a complete shock, and I'm not sure I really want it. I have no feelings for it. Am I making sense? I feel as though my world has no meaning except for my family, the child I have and myself. I don't know what to do.

I have dreams of how I could hurt myself badly enough to kill this child inside. I wish I wasn't pregnant, but I don't believe in abortion and I couldn't give it up for adoption.

Mom tells me I will have feelings for this baby when it begins to grow. Has anyone ever said this to you before? I will care for it, but I'm afraid that I will never love this baby. Scary, huh? What should I do? Help! -- SCARED IN WASHINGTON STATE

DEAR SCARED: If you are having dreams about how you can "hurt" yourself enough to be rid of the baby you say you may never love, cannot support, and did not want in the first place -- please talk with a professional counselor or a clergyperson about giving the child up. There are many couples waiting (and praying) for a child to adopt. They would love and provide for it in a way that you can�not. Please consider that option. You need not feel guilty for facing reality. I think you are sensible and courageous. I wish you well.