By popular request, Abby shares more of her favorite prize-winning, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
MIDWIFE'S PRACTICE OF MEDICINE LEAVES DAUGHTER FEELING SICK
DEAR ABBY: My mother is a native of Mexico. I don't know if you are familiar with the medical-pharmaceutical practices in Mexico, but they are very "relaxed." In Mexico, my mother was a midwife. She assisted the local doctor, but she has had no formal training. She has lived in America for 30 years and fully understands the laws of being a citizen.
I recently learned that my mother is giving injections to people who seek her out. These people obtain the medication in Mexico and my mother has a syringe. A relative brought her children over to be injected with so-called vitamins, so I asked her why she was doing this. She said, "The American doctors are afraid to cure people quickly."
I said nothing more to anyone; then I told my mother that if she continued to practice medicine without a license, I would turn her in. She laughed and said that she would stop. I know my mother and doubt that she will stop.
Abby, I don't want to turn her in. Other family members agree that what she is doing is wrong, but they think it's none of my business. Their attitude and my mother's actions appall me, but I don't want to visit her in jail. Please answer in the paper. -- CONCERNED DAUGHTER IN FRESNO
DEAR CONCERNED: I consulted my personal physician, Dr. Jaime Paris, who practiced at the Mayo Clinic for 20 years. He said: "Regardless of what the laws are in Mexico City, the woman is breaking the law here. Furthermore, if the needles she uses are not properly sterilized, she could be spreading all kinds of diseases. Inform her emphatically and immediately that no one should be giving shots unless supervised by a doctor of medicine or osteopathy."
DEAR ABBY: Whatever happened to dinner? Everyone here in my section of Florida eats "supper," never dinner, in the evening. Isn't it correct that if you have lunch at noon, you have dinner at night? Or if you have dinner at noon (as farmers do), then supper is a light meal in the evening?
Even the "Golden Girls" on TV refer to their dinner as "supper," and it's obvious they are not eating their dinner at noon. -- FLORENCE KRUEGER, BAYONET POINT, FLA.
DEAR FLORENCE: Webster's Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary defines "dinner" as "the principal meal of the day." And "supper" is defined as "the evening meal, especially when dinner (the principal meal of the day) is taken at midday." "Supper" is also described as "a light meal served late in the evening."
So, technically, you are correct. But if local or regional custom dictates that the evening meal be called supper -- then the word from here is, Don't argue with the natives, or you might wind up eating your words regardless of the hour.
Divorced Parents Join Hands for Daughter's Happy Wedding
DEAR ABBY: I have read so much about divorced parents creating problems at their kids' weddings that I had to write and let you know what happened at mine.
My parents divorced when I was 2 years old. For years, I heard Mother and Dad bad-mouth each other. And I went for years without seeing my father because of their dislike for each other.
Then, when I was in my early teens, my parents started mending fences, and I got to know my father better. I soon realized that Dad wasn't such a bad guy after all.
OK, I am now 21 and have just married a wonderful young man. Dad got married last year and the hostility between my parents just seemed to evaporate!
I got the nicest present anyone could have given me. My mother and my stepmother gave me a surprise bridal shower -- together! Mom insisted that Dad give me away at my wedding, and she and Dad stood together at my side to give me their blessings.
My stepmother insisted that Mom and Dad sit together at the wedding dinner. My parents laughed and danced together and everyone had a super time. I didn't have to ask anybody to please be nice for my sake. There were genuine good feelings. I get emotional just thinking about it. Sign this ... DREAMS CAN COME TRUE IN TEXAS
DEAR DREAMS CAN COME TRUE: What an upper your letter is! Your parents (and stepmother) showed rare maturity, sensitivity and generosity. Few children of divorced parents are as fortunate. Lucky you!
DEAR ABBY: This is the first time I have written, but I thought you might find this letter of interest.
When my daughter informed me more than a month ahead of time that she and her husband planned to give me a big 80th birthday celebration, I remembered a letter that appeared in your column several months ago, from a woman who requested that all of her "gifts" go to the local food bank.
Well, the party was a huge success. More than 70 guests attended, and 145 pounds of food and $137 in coins and checks were donated. My photograph appeared in the local paper and I received bouquets of flowers from the local flower shop and radio station -- with congratulations for having given my "birthday gifts" to the food bank!
What a wonderful feeling to know that I have helped the hungry through these very difficult times. It was so worthwhile.
It would make me very happy to hear that many others would do the same. Just sharing the occasion with my wonderful friends was present enough for me. -- HELEN IN OTTAWA, CANADA
DEAR HELEN: Congratulations on your 80th! May you celebrate many more and continue the spirit of giving. This letter may inspire others to celebrate their birthdays by encouraging others to give to those who are hungry.
To get Abby's booklet "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
Don't Wait for an Invitation to Help Someone in Need
DEAR ABBY: Concerning people who are hooked on drugs and/or alcohol, I just read a letter in the San Diego Union from the woman who signed herself, "Broke the Cycle in Dallas." I agree with the writer wholeheartedly, and with your response as well. However, I would like to go one step further: Family members CAN help "someone who doesn't want help" -- someone who is in denial. Denial, and that "false sense of control" we call delusional thinking, creates havoc in relationships. However, this denial can be broken through with a process called Intervention.
I recommend Intervention to anyone who is frustrated by another person's drinking or using. You don't have to wait for someone to "hit bottom," which could ultimately be death.
I am a professional counselor at The McDonald Center for Alcoholism and Drug Addiction Treatment at Scripps Memorial Hospital in La Jolla, Calif. To learn more about Intervention, call a local treatment center -- or call our 24-hour Parent and Teen Helpline: 1-619-458-4357. -- JOHN C. SEAMAN, M.A.
DEAR MR. SEAMAN: Thanks for a potentially lifesaving letter for the thousands of people who are hooked on alcohol and/or drugs but insist they can handle it -- which they cannot.
DEAR ABBY: We have a daughter who is a senior in college. She was very popular in high school. She was homecoming queen, a cheerleader and an "A" student.
In her second year of college, she started dating guys with long hair. None of them were druggies, but they were all long-hair types. We would have called them "hippies" in my day. Her latest boyfriend has a tattoo on his arm. Well, last week our daughter came home with an ugly tattoo of an eye on her ankle!
Abby, we are decent people, but I feel as though our daughter has betrayed us and all our teachings and beliefs. I know that tattoos are fashionable right now, but I am sure the day will come when she will be sorry and embarrassed about that tattoo on her ankle. I am humiliated and would like to know how much parents are supposed to take. -- UNHAPPY DOWN SOUTH
DEAR UNHAPPY: You are taking this too personally; keep in mind that the ankle with the tattoo is your daughter's, not yours. Your daughter sounds like a bright, responsible young woman. Don't worry about her tattoo. Should she ever feel sorry and embarrassed, the tattoo can be covered with a cosmetic. Two of the best -- Covermark or Dermablend -- can be found in most department stores and some pharmacies.
This one's for everybody, from teens to seniors! To purchase Abby's new booklet, "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It," send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)