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by Abigail Van Buren

Ophthalmologist's Exam Is Eye-Opening Experience

DEAR ABBY: I had my eyes examined by an ophthalmologist who should have had his head examined. I am considering sending HIM a bill for services inadvertently rendered. Let me explain:

Dr. Toad (not his real name) must think that his female patients are so preoccupied with their eyes that they will not notice that the doctor's knee, arm, chest or whatever is pressing against them with more than ordinary pressure in this dark and very quiet examining room. (Actually, my knee was being sexually assaulted.)

Had I said anything, he would have feigned unawareness of any undue familiarity and accused me of having a dirty mind. So, I decided to handle this in my own way. From now on, anyone who treats me like a lady for hire will get my bill in the mail.

Any comment? -- RUBBED THE WRONG WAY

DEAR RUBBED: Yes. Anyone, male or female, who feels that a professional is behaving unprofessionally should speak out immediately on arriving at that conclusion.

And should it happen a second time, a letter of complaint should be addressed to the county medical association.

DEAR ABBY: That snob who wrote to you, fearing that her uneducated in-laws might corrupt her son's English, was abominable. There are many more important things in life than correct grammar.

My late father, the son of Jewish immigrants, had to quit school at 14 to go to work. He and my late mother went on to become very successful businesspeople who sweated blood to educate their children.

I have always felt that what my parents achieved with very little education is far more impressive than what I have achieved.

My father's grammar may not have been as good as mine, but he was by far the better man. He was also highly respected in his community.

That snob who wrote to you, fearing that her uneducated in-laws might corrupt her son's English, should get off her high horse. Self-made people like her uneducated in-laws -- and my parents -- have a lot more to offer than some people who collect diplomas and degrees.

I would give everything I own if I could hear my parents talk in their poor English for only one more hour.

You may definitely use my name. -- CHARLES S. LIPTON, M.D., BOXBORO, MASS.

DEAR ABBY: Just a note to thank you for publishing information on how to find a long-lost relative through the Salvation Army.

I did just that, and they found my brother -- not in this country, but in Scotland! He and our mother had a reunion after 39 years! Abby, it's all because of your column. How can I thank you? -- LOU FARTHING IN WASHINGTON

DEAR LOU: You just did.

By popular request, Abby shares more of her favorite prize-winning, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

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