DEAR ABBY: I am 22 years of age and have been married three and a half years. Lately I have felt that my husband is acting cold toward me. We just had a talk about this and he said, "Maybe marriage isn't for me," and, "Maybe we got married too young," and, "Maybe after being with you for eight months, I realize what being married to you is really like." (My husband is in the Navy, and this is the first time we have spent so much time together.) Yet, he also claims that he loves me.
For the past two or three months, we have been trying to start a family. This was his idea. It is hard for me to understand how a person can feel the way he says he feels and still want to start a family. His reply was, "Maybe what we need is a baby."
Abby, isn't this the wrong solution to our problem? -- CONFUSED IN LONG BEACH
DEAR CONFUSED: Yes. Children should be brought into this world because they are wanted, not to serve as glue to hold a troubled marriage together. What you and your husband "need" to save your marriage is to discuss his reaction to your eight months of together�ness with a professional counselor. Then decide if you are ready to have a family.
A baby is a lifelong responsibility, not a cure for an ailing marriage.