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by Abigail Van Buren

Honeymoon Hideaway Was Wrong Place at Right Time

DEAR ABBY: When I was 11, my parents divorced and my mother moved to another state and took me with her. I saw my father only three times until I was 15. I've talked to him over the telephone a few times. (I called him -- he has never called me, not even on my birthday.) He is now remarried and living a comfortable life with his second wife and two stepchildren.

How can a father ignore his own blood child? I have tried over and over to build some kind of relationship with him, but it hasn't taken hold. I admit, I've had some problems growing up. I dropped out of high school, and every time I called him he mentioned it, saying I didn't live up to his expectations, so I finally quit calling him.

I haven't called him in two years. I am 21 now. Should I give up or keep trying? It probably shouldn't bother me after 10 years, but he is still my dad. Well, maybe if he reads your column he will recognize me. Sign me ... "ORPHANED" IN IDAHO

P.S. I am engaged to be married. Should I ask him to pay for my wedding?

DEAR "ORPHANED": Apparently your father isn't as eager to build a relationship with you as you are to build one with him. How sad. Let him know that you are engaged to be married, and if he offers to help pay for your wedding, fine --- but don't ask him. If you expect nothing, you won't be disappointed (again).

You deserve some happiness in your life. I hope you have it. Congratulations and all good wishes.