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by Abigail Van Buren

Food Stamp Fraud Leaves Bad Taste in Wife's Mouth

DEAR ABBY: My problem is my grandmother. (My father's mother.) Every now and then she says she is not sure that my brother and I are actually her grandchildren. Once, she introduced me to someone this way -- these are her actual words: "These are Wilbur and Thelma's children. Well, anyway, they are Thelma's, but I'm not sure if they are Wilbur's or not."

My mother has asked my father about his mother's insulting introduction, and he just shrugged it off as if it was nothing.

I feel that my father should talk to his mother about this slur on our mother's good name since he has no reason to believe that he is not our father. He refuses to say anything, because according to him, Grandma just means it as a joke.

This is not my idea of a joke, and my brother feels the same way. What is your opinion of a grandmother who would act like this? -- TWO HURT TEEN-AGERS

DEAR HURT: Grandmother could be experiencing mental or emotional problems. If that's not the case, she has a very vicious tongue. Tell her that when she makes such insulting comments about your mother, she hurts you deeply.