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by Abigail Van Buren

Despite all the unpleasantness, we forgave each other and continued what has always been a wonderfully loving relationship. We are in our mid-50s and feel ridiculous sneaking around to be together.

John says, "Let's say to heck with everything, sell our houses, move 1,000 miles away from all the relatives and enjoy the years we have left!"

Neither of us has to work, and our financial situation is good. Should I put myself first for once in my life and remarry John? Or keep up a house for my remaining unmarried daughter? -- TORN

DEAR TORN: Your John is a man after my own heart. Remarry him and move away from both your families. Don't worry about your unmarried daughter. She's probably due to leave the nest soon anyway. Enjoy your lives. It's always later than you think.

DEAR ABBY: When I travel, I like to take my dog with me, which presents a problem because not all hotels allow dogs.

I recently stopped at a hotel where I was made welcome with my pet, and I saw this framed "notice" hanging in the lobby. It tickled me, and if it tickles you, maybe you'll run it in your column.

"Dogs are welcome in this hotel. We never had a dog that smoked in bed and set fire to the blankets. We never had a dog who stole our towels, played the TV too loud or had a noisy fight with his traveling companion. We never had a dog that got drunk and broke up the furniture. So if your dog can vouch for you, you're welcome, too." -- DOG LOVER

DEAR DOG LOVER: I've been tickled by a version of that notice, but in case some readers haven't, I'll run it. Thanks for a well-deserved tribute to man's best friend.

DEAR ABBY: My husband went on a 10-day business trip recently, and he wrote me three letters. He addressed the first one to "Mary Smith," the second to "Mrs. Mary Smith" and the third to "Ms. Mary Smith."

I have a friend who studies psychology, and she told me that my husband's addressing me as he did -- carefully avoiding using "Mrs. John Smith" -- was his way of "de-wifing" me.

I should add that when my husband returned from the trip, he was as affectionate and loving as ever, and he certainly didn't "de-wife" me then.

What do you think of my friend's theory? -- PERPLEXED

DEAR PERPLEXED: Not much. And if I were you, I would "de-friend" her.

What teen-agers need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with their peers and parents is now in Abby's updated, expanded booklet, "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

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