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by Abigail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: I need help and don't know where to turn anymore.

My husband and I have been separated for more than two years. I still love him, but there is no chance of our getting back together again.

Abby, how do you stop loving somebody? I've been going to group therapy meetings, but it has not helped to stop the ache in my heart. Misery may love company, but it doesn't make me feel any better.

Maybe a reader who has gone through the same thing can give me some suggestions. -- ACHING HEART

DEAR ACHING: You can't "kill" love. It has to die by itself. Don't dwell on thoughts of him, and throw out all the reminders and souvenirs.

Force yourself to think of something else. Keep busy, and don't feel sorry for yourself. Tell yourself you deserve to be happy, and eventually you will be. Good luck.

DEAR ABBY: I am the mother of a baby who is learning to feed himself. I am almost positive that Terry is left-handed because when I put the spoon in his right hand, he transfers it to his left and proceeds eating that way.

My husband says I should train Terry to be right-handed because everything is geared for right-handed people and the boy will be handicapped if he's left-handed. Now my husband is forcing Terry to eat with his right hand.

What do your experts say? -- YOUNG MOTHER

DEAR MOTHER: My experts say to let the child eat with whichever hand he wants to. To force Terry to use his right hand when he is naturally left-handed could create many more problems than it solves.

Besides, what's the difference which hand he eats with? His mouth is in the middle.

DEAR ABBY: I and several friends have hit upon an idea for losing weight, as far out as it may seem. We pull our shades down, lock the door, and then clean house in the NUDE.

We noticed overweight women do NOT tend to look at themselves in mirrors as much as more slender women. Well, in cleaning house (which is itself exercise) we force ourselves to look at our bodies. Our only rule is, try to keep the stomach muscles pulled in while cleaning. It's hard at first. But actually seeing the muscles tightened helps one to keep them taut after the body is clothed.

Most of us have mirrors in every room. As we go from room to room cleaning, we can't help but come face-to-face with ourselves. This may sound crazy, but I promise it works if done in earnest. -- "AUSTIN"

DEAR "AUSTIN": Now, in addition, if you could arrange to watch yourselves EAT, you might have it made. (P.S. And should you decide to cook in the nude, do wear an apron while frying bacon.)

By popular request, Abby shares more of her favorite prize-winning, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

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