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by Abigail Van Buren

Mom's New Marriage Is Split by Daughter's Spite

DEAR ABBY: Judy and I have been married for one month, and I have already filed for divorce. This is the second marriage for both of us.

The problem is Judy's 16-year-old daughter, Lynne. Lynne told her mother that if she stayed married to me, she'd go live with her father. Judy doesn't want Lynne to live with her father because he drinks. Also, Lynne threatened to get pregnant just for spite.

Judy insists that she loves me. She says she doesn't want a divorce and the solution would be for me to move out and get a separate apartment near here for two years until Lynne is 18.

Abby, I love Judy more than any woman I've ever known, but what kind of marriage would we have living in separate apartments?

Please tell me what to do. -- UNHAPPY IN VIRGINIA

DEAR UNHAPPY: Move out. But as long as you love Judy, don't push for a divorce until you are positive that you really want one. Lynne is blackmailing her mother, who can't be blamed for doing what she thinks is best for her daughter. Both the daughter and mother need counseling. I recommend it.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been invited to a wedding. My husband is unable to attend, so I am taking my 16-year-old cousin. She does not know the bride.

At the last four weddings this cousin attended, she caught the bride's bouquet. Maybe I should tell you that she is a very large and athletic girl who is fast on her feet.

I feel that because she is only 16 and has already caught four bouquets, she should not make an all-out effort to catch this one.

Don't you think she should give the bride's friends and relatives a chance to catch the bouquet? -- NO BOUQUETS FOR NORA

DEAR NO BOUQUETS: If you want to risk telling a "large, athletic girl who's fast on her feet" what to do, go ahead.

DEAR ABBY: I knew when I married my husband that his first love would always be horses. I never minded being second to a horse, but now I think a female biped has put me in third place.

This woman is not married. She has horses of her own and she relies on my husband for help and advice about her horses. They seem to spend a lot of time together. I am invited to join them, but what fun is there for me when there is nothing but horse talk?

People who know her say that she has no women friends, enjoys the company of men, but doesn't want the responsibilities of marriage.

I love my husband too much to leave him, but I was much happier before this horsey dame came along. My husband keeps telling me that I have nothing to worry about, but for the first time in my life I am jealous. Please tell me what to do. -- THIRD PLACE

DEAR THIRD: Take it from the horse's mouth, your husband is probably just feeling his oats. Turn the twosome into a trio, brush up on your knowledge of horses, and you may win by a nose.

To get Abby's booklet "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

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