To get Abby's booklet "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
Pets Locked in Cars Sometimes Rely on Kindness of Strangers
DEAR ABBY: I just returned from my vacation and had to write this letter first thing. While vacationing in a national park, I saw several dogs locked in closed (or almost closed) cars while their owners toured museums, rode the tram, ate lunch, etc.
Abby, I recall reading in your column the facts about how fast a car heats up when left locked up on a hot summer day. Please publish these facts again soon. Maybe it will cause some thoughtless vacationers to reconsider before taking their pets on vacation with them.
While they may think it's the kind or convenient thing to do, they should decide while planning their vacation whether they are willing to leave at least two car windows partially open when they stop for even a few minutes. If not, they should leave their pet with a relative or friend, have a neighbor care for it at home, or board it in a kennel. These are by far the kindest options for people who really love their pets.
And if other tourists, sight-seeing in a national park, should observe a pet locked in a car with less-than-adequate ventilation, they should report it to the park ranger. -- CONCERNED TOURIST FROM STILWELL, KAN.
DEAR CONCERNED: Thank you for a timely reminder to well-meaning, but thoughtless pet owners.
The Animal Protection Institute, P.O. Box 22505, Sacramento, Calif. 95822, sells cards that may be placed under the windshield wiper. They sell for only $3 per 100 cards.
The message on the card reads: "YOUR DOG MAY BE DYING! We understand you meant to be kind by taking your dog with you today, but you could be risking your pet's life.
"On a hot summer day, the inside of a car heats very quickly. On an average 85-degree day, for example, the temperature inside your car -- with the windows slightly opened -- will reach 102 degrees in 10 minutes. In 30 minutes it will go up to 120 degrees. On warmer days, it will go even higher.
"A dog's normal body temperature is 101.5 to 102.2 degrees Farenheit. A dog can withstand a body temperature of 107 to 108 degrees Farenheit for only a very short time before suffering irreparable brain damage -- or even death. The closed car interferes with the dog's normal cooling process, that is, evaporation through panting.
"If your dog is overcome by heat exhaustion, you can give immediate first aid by immersing him or her in cold water until body temperature is lowered."
Hickey on Husband's Neck Tells Truth Behind His Lie
DEAR ABBY: A few years ago, when I was in the hospital for complications during my third pregnancy, my husband walked into my hospital room with a large hickey on his neck. He reeked of alcohol and was wearing the same clothes he had worn the night before. I looked him over and saw another hickey -- only bigger -- on the other side of his neck.
I asked him where he got the hickeys and he said he didn't know what I was talking about, so I told him to go look in the mirror, which he did. "Oh," he said innocently, "those aren't hickeys -- that happened in a bar room scuffle. Some guy jabbed me with his elbow."
After my husband left the room, the woman in the next bed said with a knowing wink, "Hey, what were you two doing behind those curtains?" When I asked her what she meant, she said she had seen a big hickey on my husband's neck.
I have tried to just forget about it, but I can't. Abby, why is this still bugging me? -- CAN'T FORGET
DEAR CAN'T: It's bugging you because your husband lied to you and when you confronted him, instead of admitting it -- he lied again.
You need to resolve this and put it behind you. If your husband values his marriage, he will get into counseling with you. If he refuses, go without him. Your husband appears to have a lot of growing up to do.
He also may have a drinking problem, and unless he changes his behavior and gets help, he could wake up one day and discover that he has thrown away a good wife and three children.
DEAR ABBY: Car seating arrangements in America are usually automatically determined by the social class of the people involved.
If one working-class couple picks up another couple, the husband and wife whose car it is will usually sit in the front seat, and the guest husband and wife in the backseat.
Middle class: The two husbands sit in the front, the two wives in the back. Upper class: The woman guest sits in the front passenger seat next to the host driver, while the hostess sits in the back with the guest husband.
Abby, I believe that this pattern was discovered in a sociological research study that was done more than 40 years ago. -- DONALD L. MIESEN, SAN FRANCISCO
DEAR MR. MIESEN: Thank you for the input. I was not aware that this topic had been the subject of a sociological study -- until several readers wrote to tell me so!
A reader from Butte, Mont., wrote to say that you could tell which political party they belonged to by the seating arrangement: The Republicans usually sat with their wives, and the Democrats sat with the other fellow's wife.
By popular request, Abby shares more of her favorite prize-winning, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
Sometimes, Cause of Death Is Cause for Public Concern
DEAR ABBY: How tragically ironic that your column advocating concealing the cause of death to spare the feelings of the survivors appeared in the same issue of the Los Angeles Times as the obituary of the famous actor, James Franciscus, dead of emphysema at 57. I am happy to report that Burt Folkart's fine obituary plainly stated that Franciscus was a heavy smoker!
I tend to agree with your position -- with one glaring exception: When a prominent person dies of lung cancer, emphysema, pneumonia, or any other smoking-related disease -- (Ed Murrow, Steve McQueen, Yul Brynner, Nat Cole, Harry James, Lucille Ball, John Wayne, Zeppo Marx, Humphrey Bogart, Bette Davis, Sammy Davis, et al -- the list is endless), to suppress the fact that the deceased was a nicotine addict (as they almost always are), is to play into the hands of the cigarette manufacturers.
By the same token, juvenile criminals should always be identified, no matter how young. Perpetrators of adult crimes should be treated like adults, not coddled by the news media.
Incidentally, I am a retired dentist who has always told my smoking patients to worry less about the ugly brown stain on their teeth and more about the possibility of premature tobacco-caused death. -- MARVIN H. LEAF, D.D.S., LOS ANGELES
DEAR DR. LEAF: You said a mouthful.
DEAR ABBY: My fiance, "Jack," agreed to be the best man at the upcoming wedding of his friend, "Alan."
Alan and I are acquainted, and he knows that Jack and I have been engaged for over a year. The problem is that I did not get an invitation to the wedding. Some mutual friends got their invitation a couple of weeks ago, so I know the invitations have already been sent out.
It is my understanding that the members of the wedding party should also be sent invitations as a matter of courtesy -- but Alan and his bride-to-be have not done this.
Jack says that they probably just assume that I will also attend, because he will be the best man.
Abby, I would feel uncomfortable going to a wedding and reception to which I was not invited.
Also, I'm not sure it was an innocent oversight, because Alan has tried to set Jack up with other women in the past, knowing full well he is engaged to me.
What should I do, if anything? -- SNUBBED
DEAR SNUBBED: Tell Jack that you are offended at having been "overlooked" -- and you'd feel more welcome if you were to receive an invitation. And since the bride sends the invitations, she should be reminded. But whether you receive a formal invitation or not, you'd be foolish to sit home while your fiance is dancing at the wedding!
"How to Be Popular" is an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)