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by Abigail Van Buren

Prayer for Dieters Brings Smiles as Well as Solace

DEAR ABBY: Five or six years ago, you had a prayer for dieters in your column written in the style of the 23rd Psalm. I cut it out of the Rocky Mountain News in Denver. My copy is falling apart. Would you please print it again? -- PATRICIA OWENS, COMMERCE CITY, COLO.

DEAR PATRICIA: This prayer has been around since the invention of the three-way mirror, and here it is:


The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want.

He maketh me lie down and do push-ups,

He giveth me sodium-free bread,

He restoreth my waistline.

He leadeth me past the refrigerator for mine own sake.

He maketh me to partake of green beans instead of potatoes,

He leadeth me past the pizzeria.

Yea, though I walk through the bakery,

I shall not falter, for thou art with me;

Thy diet colas they comfort me.

Thou preparest a diet for me in the presence of mine enemies,

Thou anointest my lettuce with low-cal oil.

My cup will not overflow.

Surely Ry Krisp and D-Zerta shall follow me all the days of my life,

And I will live with pains of hunger forever. Amen.

DEAR ABBY: I think I'm in love with my husband's best friend. (I'll call him Rob.) I have known him almost as long as I've known my husband. Very often, the three of us will go to the movies, bowling, parties, etc. When Rob is with us, I always have a wonderful time. He keeps me laughing, and he's interesting company. When I go out with my husband alone, it's usually dull and boring. It's getting to the point where I'd rather go out with Rob than my husband.

When I know that Rob is out on a date, I get upset and jealous. Some weekends when I'm tired, Rob will come over and fix dinner for me and my husband. He does a lot of nice things for us that my husband will not do.

I think about Rob constantly. This man has never said or done anything to suggest that our friendship is more than friendship. Am I in love with Rob? Or just bored with my husband? -- IN DOUBT IN TEXAS

DEAR IN DOUBT: Perhaps a little of both. However, if you value your marriage, it's time to break up the threesome. You and your husband should investigate outings for couples that offer a refresher course in how to rejuvenate a stagnant marriage. (Check with your church or a local college.)

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