To get Abby's booklet, "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
Sing It Out, Sing It Loud: Get a Regular Mammogram!
DEAR READERS: The letter from the woman who felt a lump in her breast but was afraid to go to the doctor prompted a deluge of mail. Some typical letters:
DEAR ABBY: I lost my mother and three sisters to cancer, so I can sympathize with "Scared to Death," who felt a lump in her breast and was afraid to get a mammogram.
I join you, Abby, in urging all women -- even those without lumps -- to get mammograms regularly. They can save your life. Please tell your readers that any woman can get breast cancer whether it's in her family or not; 80 percent of the women who get breast cancer do NOT have it in their family.
A mammogram can detect breast cancer two years before a woman or her doctor can feel a lump. All women should have regular mammograms beginning at age 40 -- particularly women of color because they are more likely to die because they didn't catch it early enough.
I urge all my sisters, black or white, to educate themselves about this scary but treatable disease. For more information, your readers can dial 1-800-4-CANCER. -- PATTI LABELLE
DEAR ABBY: In 1977, when I discovered a lump in my breast, I was terrified! Nevertheless, I made an appointment to see my doctor, and a week after my "positive" biopsy, I had a modified radical mastectomy. I was devastated and depressed.
The third day after my surgery, a lovely, cheerful lady showed up in my hospital room and asked me if I had ever heard of "Reach to Recovery." I told her I had not. Then she went on to explain that my surgeon had contacted the American Cancer Society and requested that a volunteer from that organization pay me a visit.
This encouraging woman told me that she, too, had had a mastectomy. She gave me some exercises to do, and also gave me a "rest bra" and a temporary prosthesis. But the best thing she gave me was hope and assurance that I was still the same woman I had been before the surgery.
Since that time, I have become a volunteer in the Reach to Recovery program and have enjoyed the rewards of helping many other women who were as heartbroken and depressed as I had been before Reach to Recovery reached out to me. -- BARBARA J. MYHRE, BANDERA, TEXAS
DEAR ABBY: Like "Scared to Death," I felt a lump in my breast. Unlike her, I immediately saw my doctor. Even though it was cancer, I was one of the lucky ones because I sought early diagnosis and treatment and I am alive today to talk about it.
"Scared to Death" is afraid of how her husband would feel about her following a mastectomy. I had the same fears, but throughout my ordeal, my husband was my biggest supporter and my best friend. If anything, the situation brought us closer together. He says he loves me for me, not for my body parts.
I am thankful to have made it and I would love to tell the world that I am extremely proud of my supportive husband. If you use my letter, feel free to use my real name. -- JAN NICHOLS, CARLETON, MICH.
DEAR ABBY: I had just returned home from a routine mammogram when I read the letter from "Scared to Death." I watched my own mother's painful battle with breast cancer (both breasts). However, she won that battle and came away with a beautiful reconstruction job. Now she jokes about having firm breasts in her 60s! Two of my aunts and my grandmother had mastectomies, and none of their husbands left them. In fact, they outlived their husbands! -- A SURVIVOR IN COLORADO
Preschool Recycling Begins With Some Adult Education
DEAR ABBY: A couple of mothers in my neighborhood and I teach home preschool for our 2- and 3-year-olds. This month we are talking about conservation. Though these children don't understand all about conservation and ecology, they at least understand the concept that each person can and should do his part to keep our world beautiful and safe.
We would like to do our part by separating our trash into containers labeled "paper," "glass," "aluminum" and "everything else." However, I am confused as to what constitutes recyclable paper products.
Would used paper towels be acceptable or not? What about cardboard boxes -- such as cereal boxes, doughnut boxes, etc.?
Please advise me on any steps I need to take before taking things to the recycling plant. Thank you. -- MAREN IN MESA
DEAR MAREN: Check the Yellow Pages of your telephone directory under "Recycling," "Scrap" or "Solid Waste." You might also contact your local solid waste management office, which is usually a part of the Department of Public Works. Someone there can help you identify local recycling groups, other area schools and groups with recycling programs, local environmental groups, and companies that accept recyclables and process or sell them to reclaimers.
This research will help you find out which materials are being recycled presently in your area, as well as those recycling handlers and processors who could accept the materials you collect.
For further information on recycling, contact the Council for Solid Waste Solutions, 1275 K St. N.W., Suite 400, Washington, D.C. 20005.
Teachers or school administrators who wish to order a free copy of the Council for Solid Waste Solutions manual, "How to Set Up a School Recycling Program," or the "Resource Revolution" video, should call 1-(800)-243-5790.
DEAR ABBY: I used to think mother-in-law jokes were funny. Not any more. I realize that there must be some good mothers-in-law, but I wasn't lucky enough to get one.
My husband's mother refuses to accept that she cannot run my life, and my husband refuses to tell her to quit trying. He says if I have any complaints about his mother, I should tell her -- not him.
He spends a lot of time with his parents, and he does whatever his mother tells him to do. How can I handle this without causing a lot of problems? -- MAD IN MADISON
DEAR MAD: Take your husband's advice. If your mother-in-law tries to tell you what to do, tell her, woman-to-woman, that you are quite capable of making your own decisions. When you involve your husband, you are asking him to fight your battles in opposition to his mother. Not a very good idea. You need a course in assertiveness. (Yes, such courses are available. Check with your local college.)
Another suggestion to improve your marriage: See your clergyperson or a marriage counselor. If your husband refuses to join you for counseling, go alone.
Want your phone to ring? Get Abby's booklet, "How to Be Popular" -- for people of all ages. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.
MOM FEARS CHERNOBYL LETTERS MAY CARRY MORE THAN NEWS
DEAR ABBY: I have a question that has been bothering me a great deal. I feel embarrassed to ask, but I must.
My teen-age daughter has been receiving pen-pal letters from a girl in Ukraine (U.S.S.R.) who happens to live a few hundred miles from the Chernobyl disaster in a city called Dnepropetrovsk. Because I'm a natural worrier, mother of five and pregnant again, every time she receives a letter, I can't help but wonder if it is safe (non-radioactive).
I realize it has been five years since that tragedy, and cleanup has taken place, but I don't know whom to ask. Please help me. -- LOUISIANA WORRIER
DEAR WORRIER: Put your mind at ease. According to William Curtis, project leader at the Environmental Protection Agency's Office of Radiation Programs, there is nothing to worry about. (Mr. Curtis is an oceanographer who journeyed to Chernobyl last year to conduct surveys for the EPA on radiation levels in the Black Sea.) He assured me that if his word isn't enough to ease your worry, you may take the envelopes to be analyzed at any university that has a radiation department.
DEAR ABBY: I know you can help me. I have a son who's 14 years old, and he is terribly afraid of the dentist. I started taking him to the dentist when he was 3 years old, but each time it was a terrible experience.
He has not been to a dentist for a checkup for more than three years because he is terrified of shots. (He even complains about how painful it is to have his teeth cleaned.)
My question is: Are there any dentists in Michigan who treat patients who have a phobia about dentists? My son needs to have a couple of teeth extracted. -- LIVONIA MAMA
DEAR MAMA: If your family dentist cannot (or will not) refer you to a dentist who specializes in phobic patients, get in touch with your county dental association and ask for some referrals.
Please don't cave in on this very important issue, Mama. Proper dental care is essential to your son's general physical health.
DEAR ABBY: "Hurt in Indiana" remarked that whenever she went to her son's home, she noticed pictures of his wife's family prominently displayed all over the house, but not one picture of his family was in evidence. That reminds me of this story:
One of my lifelong friends remarried after her first husband died. Husband No. 2, whose first wife had died, kept a very large portrait of Eve, Wife No. 1, hanging over the fireplace.
Finally, my friend, one of nature's true noblewomen, who wouldn't hurt a flea if she could get out of its way, said to Husband No. 2: "I have a very good portrait of Clifford (Husband No. 1) that would look lovely beside Eve."
The next day Eve's portrait mysteriously disappeared. -- AMUSED IN TULSA
Most teen-agers do not know the facts about drugs, AIDS and how to prevent unwanted pregnancy. It's all in Abby's new, updated, expanded booklet, "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)