To get Abby's booklet "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
TEENS OUT LOOKING FOR JOBS MAY NEED A NEW ATTITUDE
DEAR ABBY: It's summer vacation time, and many high school graduates probably are still out looking for jobs. Two or three years ago, you published some good advice for young people on how to dress, how to act and what to say when applying for a job. I cut it out to save, and now I can't find it. I have a grandson I want to send it to. Please print it again. It could help me -- and a lot of young people. Thank you. -- DULUTH GRANDPARENT
DEAR GRANDPARENT: The advice to which you refer first appeared in William Raspberry's column. He quoted Karen Rak, a high school English teacher in Strongsville, Ohio, who composed a letter from an employer to let youthful job seekers see themselves as they are seen. I am pleased to print it again. It deserves as much exposure as it can get: "DEAR KID: Today you came to me for a job. From the look of your shoulders as you walked out, I suspect you've been turned down before, and maybe you believe by now that kids your age can't find jobs.
"But I hired a teen-ager today. You saw him. What was so special about him? Not experience; neither of you had any. Attitude, son. A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E. He did his best to impress me. That is where he edged you out.
"He wasn't dressed like Easter Sunday, but then that wasn't necessary. His clothes were clean, and he had gotten a haircut. He filled out the application form neatly and completely. He did not ask to borrow a pen. He carried his Social Security card, had basic identification and did not ask, 'What's a reference?'
"He didn't start to chew gum or smoke while being interviewed. He didn't keep looking at his watch, giving me the impression that he had something more important to do.
"He took the time to find out how we 'operate' here and what his day-to-day tasks would be. I think he'll keep his eyes open and work for me like he'd work for himself.
"He was willing to start at that point where I could afford to pay. Someday, perhaps, he'll get to the point where he'll have more authority over others and a better paycheck.
"You know, kid, men have always had to get a job like you get a girl: case the situation, wear a clean shirt and try to appear reasonably willing.
"Maybe jobs aren't as plentiful right now, but there are jobs. You may not believe it, but all around you employers are looking for young men and women smart enough to go after a job in the old-fashioned way.
"If you have even the vaguest idea of what I'm trying to say, let it show the next time you ask for a job. You will be head and shoulders above the rest.
"For both our sakes, get eager, will you? -- THE BOSS"
DEAR ABBY: I'm getting married this fall, and I am faced with a difficult question. I am having a large formal wedding, but I do not know who should walk me down the aisle. My father died when I was very young, and I am not really close to any other male family members.
Would it be appropriate for my mother to walk me down the aisle? If not, whom would you recommend? -- K.K. IN BOULDER, COLO.
DEAR K.K.: Of course your mother may walk you down the aisle. Or you might consider walking halfway down the aisle alone -- the groom could meet you in the middle, and together you could make the trek to the altar.
DEAR ABBY: How lucky we are to be living in West Virginia. The newspapers here, as a matter of policy, do not publish the cause of death in their obituaries. I understand that in some states the cause of death is required. A friend who works at the local mortuary told me that a newspaper editor in another state refused to print an obituary unless "cause of death" was disclosed.
Abby, why would this information be important to the general public? The friends and relatives of the deceased know the cause of death without having it in print for all the world to see. -- N.J.G. IN WHEELING
DEAR N.J.G.: The cause of death is not the business of the public, but some newspaper editors feel that no obituary is complete unless it is included.
When the cause of death is a suicide, some obituaries disclose the details: "suicide by hanging," "suffocation," "overdose," "shotgun to the head," "slashed wrists," etc.
Bless those sensitive editors who show compassion and report deaths without disclosing facts that may be painful to the survivors. The good Lord knows they have already suffered enough.
DEAR ABBY: We recently learned an important lesson in child safety that should be common knowledge. During a stay at the beach, my 11-year-old son and his 10-year-old cousin dug a small cave in the sand where there is a small incline. While my son was inside the small cave, it collapsed on him. His cousin immediately started digging and called others nearby for help. Someone called 911, and when we dug my son out of the sand, thank God he was still breathing -- but unconscious. He spent the night in the hospital and is fine now.
The ambulance crew said it was the third "cave-in" incident this summer -- the other two children did not survive!
Abby, just as children are taught never to play in the ocean without an adult, they should be taught never to tunnel or dig straight-sided holes in dirt or sand. Also, children should be taught not to climb steep sand or sandstone banks. Be aware that sand is very unstable and can cause suffocation within minutes!
We feel extremely lucky and thankful that we can put this lesson to use to warn others. -- WISER IN OREGON
DEAR WISER: Because you took the time and made the effort to warn others about this possible death trap, you may prevent a potential tragedy. Bless you for writing.
DEAR ABBY: This is for the bride who was aggravated because the hotel did not hold the bridal suite that had been reserved, so the newlyweds spent their wedding night in a tiny room with a fold-out bed that broke down, and they both ended up on the floor!
I assure you, in the years to come she will have more fun telling about her crazy wedding night than anything she could have described had she occupied the bridal suite. -- FREDERICK F. COHN IN CHICAGO
Want your phone to ring? Get Abby's booklet, "How to Be Popular" -- for people of all ages. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
DEAR ABBY: "Liz in California" expressed her concern that pets in motor vehicles should be secured (buckled up) similar to small children. Well, here's another one for your "Now I've Heard Everything" file:
As I was driving along a Twin Cities freeway, I passed a man on a motorcycle doing no less than 60 miles an hour. Abby, he had a full-grown black Labrador dog perched behind him on the passenger seat of the motorcycle! The poor animal looked paralyzed with fear.
When I called the Minnesota Highway Patrol to report the cycle license number, I was told they could do nothing because the guy wasn't breaking any laws.
Abby, how about cruelty to animals? That terrified dog could jump or fall from the motorcycle and shatter all four legs on the concrete! Or, startled motorists could swerve out of control or be rear-ended slamming on their brakes, with a dog that size rolling down the pavement.
To me, it's just another indication that there is no shortage of idiots on the road in Minnesota. -- SANDY IN MAPLE GROVE
DEAR SANDY: Why pick on Minnesota? There's no shortage of idiots on the road in any other state that has no law to protect man's best friend from this kind of brutality.
As a concerned citizen and animal lover, why don't you write a letter to the editor of your newspaper and cite this blatant cruelty? It might spur a state legislator to action.
DEAR ABBY: I fully agree with your response to the woman of good character in Anchorage, Alaska, who had bought a secondhand car and found $42 in the glove compartment. Her husband said that inasmuch as they had purchased the car "as is," she should keep the $42. You told her to return it.
Your advice was similar to the story told by Rabbi Simeon, whose students bought a donkey from a merchant to assist their teacher in his livelihood of selling flax. His students found a costly pearl attached to the neck of the donkey, and they said, "Rabbi, you will not have to labor any more -- we found this precious gem on the donkey!"
Rabbi Simeon responded, "Does the seller know of this pearl?" They answered, "No."
The sage then said, "I bought a donkey, not a pearl." The jewel was returned.
As a rabbi concerned that people don't simply tell themselves, "Business is business," I am pleased you chose to print that woman's letter.
The great writer Macaulay wrote: "The measure of a man's real character is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out." -- RABBI GEOFFREY BOTNICK, WILMETTE, ILL.
DEAR ABBY: I got a chuckle out of some of the messages left on telephone answering machines by people who had obviously misdialed. Add this one:
A female voice left this message on my machine: "Honey, I just came back from the doctor's office, and he says I'm pregnant."
Abby, I am a single man, living alone. I'm also ... 68 YEARS OLD
Abby's family recipes are included in her cookbooklet. Send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)