DEAR ABBY: My stepdaughter "Susie" and her husband, who live out of state and rarely communicate with us, came to visit us last year. Their visit was complicated by the fact that they invited another couple (whom we had never met) and their two children to join them. We made special sleeping accommodations and fed all six of them for several days.
I was ignored, talked down to and insulted by both Susie and her friend "Betsy" during the entire visit. Neither woman offered to help with the meals or dishes -- they just sat while I waited on them. When it was time for them to leave, neither Susie nor Betsy said goodbye or thank you. They simply disappeared into their van while I stood there with tears in my eyes and egg on my face!
Now, Susie is making plans to use our home as a stop-over for several days next year -- and she's bringing Betsy and family along. I told my husband that I could tolerate Susie and her husband if I had to, but I would not have Betsy and her family as houseguests again.
Abby, am I justified in my decision, and how should this be handled without offending my husband's family? -- FRUSTRATED IN FLORIDA
DEAR FRUSTRATED: You are indeed "justified" in your decision, and if any of your husband's family are offended, they need only be told that you do not wish to accommodate guests who come uninvited and leave without so much as a goodbye or thank-you.