By popular request, Abby shares more of her favorite prize-winning, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
DEAR ABBY: Now that you have come to the defense of school bus drivers who complained that, like Rodney Dangerfield, they get no respect, how about doing the same for substitute teachers, who also get no respect?
We are expected to maintain order and promote learning in a different classroom every day with different kids who are accustomed to different rules.
But the hardest part of our job is the abuse we have to take from some of the students.
Most kids figure that a substitute teacher is fair game, so they push us as far as they can to see how much they can get away with. If we get fed up with rotten behavior and send the troublemakers to the principal's office, we're considered incompetent because we can't control the kids.
When it comes to getting no respect, a substitute teacher takes first prize. -- MOVING TARGET
DEAR TARGET: Obviously, times haven't changed much in the last half-century. When a substitute teacher shows up, there will always be kids who will try to see how much they can get away with.
However, the most competent teachers -- and the ones we remember best -- are those who demand the best from their students and put up with no nonsense.
DEAR ABBY: I go to a small restaurant and order dinner for two. No drinks or dessert. The check is around $20 and the tip, $3.
The next time I visited the same restaurant, the dinner check was $30 (they had raised their prices), so why should the tip be more, just because I spent more on food? There was no more work involved. -- BRUCE IN TEWKSBURY, MASS.
DEAR BRUCE: Because the tip is usually figured as a percentage of the cost of the meal -- and the bigger the bill, the larger the tip.
DEAR ABBY: I come from a family of seven children -- three boys and four girls. Our parents value education highly and have encouraged all of us to go to college. Two are still in college, two have dropped out, and three have graduated.
Mom has one wall of our house for pictures of her "college graduates." She thinks it will encourage the other children to finish college and get "on the wall." Instead, it is causing division in the family, since the dropouts are busy working and raising children, and they're not likely to get "on the wall." Also, the sister who graduated from a two-year college doesn't qualify for "wall status."
This leaves me and my sister who are against being "honored" this way. Mom has insisted that we have our pictures taken professionally for the wall. What should we tell Mom? -- AGAINST THE WALL
DEAR AGAINST: Hand Mom this column, and you won't have to tell her anything.
Amorous Couple Stirs Widow to Light Up Her Lonely Life
DEAR ABBY: I am a very healthy 74-year-old widow. My first and only husband died five years ago at the age of 75. Our sex life had been non-existent for five years prior to his death.
I have a ladyfriend, 77 years old, who recently married for the third time. Her new husband is 87 and apparently is in fine physical condition for his age. According to my ladyfriend, they are having sex at least twice a week. Is this biologically possible for an old married couple who are respectively 87 and 77 years of age?
If my ladyfriend is telling me the truth, perhaps I should intensify my efforts to find such a husband to bring some spice into my lonely life. -- ENVIOUS WIDOW
DEAR WIDOW: Whether your ladyfriend is telling you the truth, only she knows. For a newlywed couple of any age to have sex "at least twice a week" is quite believable.
But if you're feeling "envious," Widow, perhaps your ladyfriend should ask her new husband if he has a friend who's young at heart.
DEAR ABBY: My eldest son is getting married in June. I am hurt and angry that my name was not included along with the parents of the bride on the wedding announcements.
My husband is dead, but I'm not, and being excluded makes it appear that I don't exist!
I called a wedding consultant and was told that the announcements are printed both ways, naming the bride's parents only, and naming the parents of the groom, too.
What would be your choice, Abby? -- HURT IN MINNESOTA
DEAR HURT: I would choose the announcements that named the parents of both the bride and the groom.
DEAR ABBY: Your correspondent signed "Cherished Memories," who is presently attending a Catholic university and would give anything for a relationship with her philosophy professor who happens to be a priest, wrote: "Priests are only human, after all, and they probably don't relish the celibacy part of their commitment."
Unfortunately, some priests do not relish their celibacy and consider it a denial of their sexuality. Sad to say, many laypersons take this same negative approach.
Rightly understood, however, celibacy is not a denial, but a positive attitude that gives celibacy the aspect of a "treasured gift" offered to God through Jesus Christ. It is the "giving of one's self" in much the same way as the "giving" of a woman and man to each other in marriage. What greater gift can one give than the gift of one's self?
Celibacy is a positive choice, and a priest who approaches his commitment in this light is happy in his calling. -- FATHER X IN WISCONSIN
What teen-agers need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with their peers and parents is now in Abby's updated, expanded booklet, "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
COUPLE FINDS AN OLD FRIEND AND WANTS TO LOSE NEW ONE
DEAR ABBY: Last weekend my wife's former college roommate, "Kathy," came to visit my wife and me. We had not seen her since 1986. She had sent a Christmas card, which we followed up with a phone call inviting her for a weekend. She lives two hours away, and accepted immediately -- then she called back and asked if she could bring her new boyfriend. Well, we thought, "Any boyfriend of Kathy's would be as delightful as Kathy." Right? Wrong!
Kathy's boyfriend (I'll call him Chuck) turned out to be the most overbearing, crude, obnoxious, know-it-all we had ever met. He was argumentative, loud and just plain rude. We bit our tongues the entire weekend to keep from telling him where to go!
The problem is that Kathy seems to like this guy and she indicated that she and Chuck would be back regularly for weekend visits! She also suggested that we take a vacation trip with them.
So how do we go about telling Kathy that we think Chuck is a first-class jerk and she deserves better? Or should we keep quiet and hope she sees the light and dumps this rude dude? -- STUMPED
DEAR STUMPED: Be honest. If Kathy asks you what you think of Chuck, don't offer phony praise to keep from hurting her feelings. Tell her now not to include you in any vacations with her and Chuck because you don't enjoy his company that much. She may be offended, but it might inspire her to take a harder look at her new boyfriend and cause her to chuck Chuck.
DEAR ABBY: "Browbeaten in Pompano Beach" wrote that he retired at age 62; then he went on to say, "Five years later, my wife of 55 years applied for her Social Security, etc."
Abby, if he retired at 62, five years later he was 67. And if they were married for 55 years, he would have been 12 years old when he got married. Come on! How can that be? -- K.R.J. IN GROTON, CONN.
DEAR K.R.J.: It can't. In order for it to make sense, that sentence should have read: "Seven years later my wife, who was 55 when I retired, applied for her Social Security at 62."
Wait, it gets worse. In my reply, I say, "After 55 years of togetherness, etc.," indicating that I, too, assumed they had been married for 55 years, which would have indeed made the husband 12 years old at the time of his marriage. The mathematics escaped me entirely. I plead guilty as charged. I'll take 10 whacks with a fifth-grade math book, and another 10 with a book on logic.
DEAR ABBY: Am I the only person in the world who puts eyeglasses on to answer the telephone? I use "specs" for reading only because my eyesight is quite good for a person my age (62) -- so why do I always reach for them when I answer the telephone? -- WEIRD IN DENVER
DEAR WEIRD: Perhaps you want to be prepared in case you need to make a note of something during the telephone conversation. Many people (including me) have the same habit.
"How to Be Popular" is an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)