DEAR ABBY: I am a very healthy 74-year-old widow. My first and only husband died five years ago at the age of 75. Our sex life had been non-existent for five years prior to his death.
I have a ladyfriend, 77 years old, who recently married for the third time. Her new husband is 87 and apparently is in fine physical condition for his age. According to my ladyfriend, they are having sex at least twice a week. Is this biologically possible for an old married couple who are respectively 87 and 77 years of age?
If my ladyfriend is telling me the truth, perhaps I should intensify my efforts to find such a husband to bring some spice into my lonely life. -- ENVIOUS WIDOW
DEAR WIDOW: Whether your ladyfriend is telling you the truth, only she knows. For a newlywed couple of any age to have sex "at least twice a week" is quite believable.
But if you're feeling "envious," Widow, perhaps your ladyfriend should ask her new husband if he has a friend who's young at heart.
DEAR ABBY: My eldest son is getting married in June. I am hurt and angry that my name was not included along with the parents of the bride on the wedding announcements.
My husband is dead, but I'm not, and being excluded makes it appear that I don't exist!
I called a wedding consultant and was told that the announcements are printed both ways, naming the bride's parents only, and naming the parents of the groom, too.
What would be your choice, Abby? -- HURT IN MINNESOTA
DEAR HURT: I would choose the announcements that named the parents of both the bride and the groom.
DEAR ABBY: Your correspondent signed "Cherished Memories," who is presently attending a Catholic university and would give anything for a relationship with her philosophy professor who happens to be a priest, wrote: "Priests are only human, after all, and they probably don't relish the celibacy part of their commitment."
Unfortunately, some priests do not relish their celibacy and consider it a denial of their sexuality. Sad to say, many laypersons take this same negative approach.
Rightly understood, however, celibacy is not a denial, but a positive attitude that gives celibacy the aspect of a "treasured gift" offered to God through Jesus Christ. It is the "giving of one's self" in much the same way as the "giving" of a woman and man to each other in marriage. What greater gift can one give than the gift of one's self?
Celibacy is a positive choice, and a priest who approaches his commitment in this light is happy in his calling. -- FATHER X IN WISCONSIN
What teen-agers need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with their peers and parents is now in Abby's updated, expanded booklet, "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)
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